Shannon Reilly

Playwright, director, improv artist, Shakespeare enthusiast.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

#Shakespeare much? Check out Shannon's Shakespeare Shundays on MixCloud — also on my website. A half hour on a different Shakespeare topic each week for fans. Keep it Bard to the bone. #ShakespeareSunday https://t.co/30Gzcqull0

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

@k_ripTopCity @JeffreyASachs Damn

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

I’m my garage I have a huge step ladder. It’s all I have. My mother never told me who my real ladder was.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

There’s a new reality court show on TV. Litigants plead their cases to a judge who stays behind a thick door watching them through a tiny opening near the top. It’s called “Peep Hole’s Court”!

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

My doctor was worried about how little fruit I eat. He said; “Shannon, just eat a hand full of dried grapes a day. It will give you years of life.” So every day I start with my raisins for living.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

They say the most popular microscopic life form is mold. It’s everywhere. But what not? It’s such a fungi.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

When I was a kid I used to eat chocolate snak paks like they were going out of style. Then one day I just quit. Suddenly my friends didn’t want to be around me anymore. They found me off pudding.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Went to a seminar on “Breeding Rabbits for Profit”, but I ran from the room screaming. I’m sorry but I found the whole event hare raising.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Bought an alarm clock that doesn’t beep or ring. Instead, when it goes off, it calls me fat, stupid and lazy. Talk about a rude awakening!

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

When leaving for work I turned to my fifteen year old daughter, who would be home all day alone, and I said; “Oreos are not an acceptable breakfast.” I’m totally winning at this parenting thing.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

How come Joe Manchin didn’t give the Republican response to the the State of the Union. He’s as much a problem as Republicans are!

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

I feel bad about Natalie Wood drowning. That never would have happened to her sister Balsa.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Uh oh, Texas! Looks like it’s going to get cold this week. Biggest indicator? Ted Cruz was already spotted at the airport in beach wear.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Everyone my age: “Hooray Neil Young! Stick it to Spotify!”
Everyone younger than me that actually have Spotify accounts: “Who’s Neil Young?”

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Life can be so hard lately and then someone comes up with Wordle. Thanks irony.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Still waiting on Zack Snyder to reedit 2021. This cannot be the intended version.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

For most of my life I’ve had a fear of elevators. But now I’m taking steps to avoid them.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

I love cooking a meal for my family at the end of the day. It makes me happy to provide for them this way. However, if I could change anything, I guess it would be that this meal is also somewhat edible.

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

Where do white, country ducks go out to eat? . . . Quacker Barrel. (I’ll show myself out.)

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

@k_ripTopCity @ThatEricAlper Ahhhhhhhhhh!

[Shannon Reilly @ShannonJReilly]

I’m so tired I may just put goggly eyes on my eyelids for tonight’s rehearsal and hope no one notices.