Shannon Murphy

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

Breathing in hefty lungfuls of smoke as I get explosive diarrhea from salad, the sky turns apocalyptic orange while oil companies drill in protected lands, screwworms are eating cattle alive and the president just paid $6 million for rape. And I’m also able to bet on all of it!

[Dawn 🌙 @upuntil_dawn]

Still you rise I guess

[Drew @drewdyck]

Panera is the perfect choice when you’re not sick but you’re craving hospital food. And you’re like, my bank balance is too high.

[Supriya Ganesh @SupriyaGanesh]

To those asking me if they should watch love island: this shit isn’t for the weak. It’s an hour every day for 6 weeks. It’s a commitment, a marathon, and ur gonna wonder why ur watching this shit but keep at it u will see levels of psychological torture never before seen

[cinder @blackcindyy]

Y’all hold it down over there in Fiji for me, I’ll be there once I finish up here in the Hamptons #SummerHouse #LoveIslandUSA

[bri @bribrisimps]

oooo look at me i’m dua lipa im gorgeous and a talented singer and im on lush vacations all the time and i have a hot british husband who i met because we were reading the same book and on the same page did i mention i read a lot and i also have a podcast about novels im going through bc im well rounded and educated

[. @deityofnightt]

l've never seen anything more accurate

[GL @gldivittorio]

Bar

[Elizabeth Booker Houston @booker_squared]

*Me being forced to read another 92 pages of the Supreme Court taking away my rights all because Metheny and Metthew voted for a white nationalist because they believe that taxing the rich puts their $27,942.53 annual salary and double-wide trailer at risk*

[pokey pup @Whatapityonyou]

It’s time to embrace AI to manage student loan debt

[☆ MiMi ☆ @princessnoias]

num dia vc ta assistindo esse filme e de repente boom vc tem mesmo 30 anos

[daz @MetamateDaz]

You'll have to pry the millennial “lol” at the end of every sentence from my cold dead hands.

[ettingermentum @ettingermentum]

I’ve had the same opinion about him since I graduated middle school but that’s cool I guess

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

what if we started critical thoughtmaxxing

[Brunette Bohemian @Jane_Doe82]

We see pictures of the beautiful gift we’ve been given from outerspace, and we’re down here nuking it with bombs. How undeserving we are

[Adam Cochran (adamscochran.eth) @adamscochran]

Whether something happens or not, let's be clear:

He quite literally is that stupid.

[Jon Favreau @jonfavs]

Wow, I'm surprised threatening civilizational extermination didn't grease the skids for a deal

[Brian Cohen @CohenBrian_]

*Alan Cumming voice* YOU! Pam Bondi

[Burner @BurnerDontask]

Its not "for free" that money is used to fund infrastructure and public goods throughout Israel