Sharleen Cobourne

SEND Expert....4 sons on a mission.......I am all I choose to be❤️

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Wellbeing support when parenting SEND children is non-negotiable. I have said it before and will keep saying it. 💛

If you cannot prioritise it for yourself — do it for your child.

Our children feel our low mood, our poor mental health, our depletion.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Write down everything you want to say before that meeting. Every concern. Every question. Every point. 💛

Because the moment you sit down — things go out of your head. Important things. I know because it happened to me over and over.

Now everything goes in my notes.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

A safe space for SEND families is non-judgmental. A place where you do not feel watched or like the only one. Where you see people with similar experiences. 💛

A space where you can just be yourself.

We need to keep creating these spaces for families like ours.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

When we ask for help — we need it now. Not in three months. 💛

The waiting is one of the most detrimental things in the SEND system.

Find your local parent carer forum. Your family hub. Your SEND community.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

We are the experts on our children. I said it to the Department for Education. And I will keep saying it. 💛

Never be afraid to speak up — even when things in your child's annual review are inaccurate. Especially then.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Trust in SEND services is at an all-time low. Not without reason. 💛

We have been let down — by education, health, social care, housing — so many times that faith has simply run out.

And we are discerning. We know who is genuinely there to help and who is just ticking boxes.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

One of the hardest lessons in SEND advocacy — from personal experience. 💛

Take the emotion out of the situation. As much as possible.

Not because your feelings do not matter. But because policy and procedure are there to protect you.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

When your child's needs are being missed — behaviour is the first thing to change. 💛

Acting out of character. Increasing challenging behaviour. Something that feels different.

That is your fastest indicator. Your child telling you something is not working.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Asking for support does not mean you are failing. It means you are human. 💛

So many SEND families carry shame around reaching out — the narrative that needing help means not coping.

But that narrative is not the truth.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

SEND training that stops at senior leadership is not enough. 💛

Our children interact with every person in that school. Dinner ladies. Teaching assistants. Midday staff. Janitors.

Every one of them needs a baseline level of SEND awareness.

There should be a framework.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

When a SEND parent shows up frustrated, emotional, at the end of everything they have — that is not a difficult parent. 💛

That is a parent who has been carrying this for so long that this is all they have left.

Schools and professionals — please meet that with compassion.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Showing up at a service and seeing someone from your culture. Someone who is culturally affirming. Someone who understands. 💛

That moment goes such a long way.

It creates trust and safety that nothing else can replicate.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Most SEND parents wait too long to ask for support. The reason is always the same — the belief that they should be able to handle this alone. 💛

But this is uncharted territory. For all of us.

Seek support early. Find your community. Find your tribe.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Three things that would change everything for SEND families. 💛

1️⃣ Listen. Genuinely.
2️⃣ Take visible, meaningful action.
3️⃣ Come back and communicate the results.

Too many of us feel like things are done to us rather than with us.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Headaches. Flu-like symptoms. Unable to function normally. Struggling to care for your other children. 💛

These are your body's signs that the weight has become too much.

For SEND parents — the goal is always to have support in place before burnout hits.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Perfect at school. Completely falls apart at home. 💛

This is masking. All day your child conforms — suppresses everything — to fit the expected behaviour. Home is the safe space where it all comes out.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

No folding chairs allowed at a park event. 💛

For someone with a disability who cannot stand for long — that one unconsidered rule meant no access at all.

This is what inaccessibility looks like in everyday life. Small. Unconsidered. Completely excluding.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Is the school doing enough for your SEND child? The answer is not in the paperwork. 💛

Look at the child.

Meltdowns. Behaviour. Peer interactions. Daily experience.

And remember — sometimes schools are doing a lot of things that are not right for that particular child.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

How do schools rebuild trust with SEND families they have let down? 💛
Three things. In this exact order.

1️⃣ Listen. Genuinely.
2️⃣ Take visible, meaningful action.
3️⃣ Communicate the results — come back and show families what changed.

[Sharleen Cobourne @Sharleenloves]

Two things every SEND parent needs at school. 💛
1️⃣ A trusted person — head of year, good teacher, senior leader. Use them as your bridge to the right ears.
2️⃣ A paper trail. Put EVERYTHING in writing. Every time. Phone call? Follow up with email immediately.