Shaun Eli Breidbart

Stand-up comedian. It's my job to make you forget how much you hate your job.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

Find me here: https://t.co/R1RhgfIyow

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@elonmusk It would be a nice feature if my phone beeped when my car reached temperature when using the app for climate control before a drive.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@elonmusk Hi. Every Tesla supercharging station should have the phone number to call to get non-EVs illegally parked there towed. Just having the number posted would probably cut down on people blocking chargers.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@StevenTDennis It's a loss-leader. They lose money on it. Why would they encourage you to buy just the chicken?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@elonmusk Love my Model Y but it beeps as soon as the traffic light changes. Can you please put in a one second time delay? Even New Yorkers don't honk that fast.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@fhbrian @bpoppenheimer Of course my goal is to make the audience laugh. The discussion here isn't about that, it's about pricing.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@IndySportsAF @bpoppenheimer Maybe not. Pretty sure you're not nice.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@fhbrian @bpoppenheimer And judging a performer by the size of their following? Is a Big Mac better than a prime steak? Is this week's popular musician better than the London Symphony Orchestra?
Speaking about my colleagues, there are some amazing comedians you've never heard of.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@fhbrian @bpoppenheimer No, you're not paying for jokes that failed years ago. You're paying for:
- Learning what works so I can write better jokes
- Learning how to perform better- it's both physical and verbal.
You're paying a carpenter for knowing how to cut straight, which he/she learned by failing.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@notthatLew facebook? supporting a slightly less nutty billionaire.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@notthatLew I'm staying off twitter. Is there somewhere else you post so I can continue to read what you write without supporting that jerk?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@JoeConnollybiz I'm staying off twitter. Is there somewhere else you post so I can continue to read what you write without supporting that jerk?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@jilltwiss I'm staying off twitter. Is there somewhere else you post so I can continue to read what you write without supporting that jerk?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@NellSco I'm staying off twitter. Is there somewhere else you post so I can continue to read what you write without supporting that jerk?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@zinoman I'm staying off twitter. Is there somewhere else you post so I can continue to read what you write without supporting that jerk?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

Given the nuttiness of the new owner I'm done with twitter (at least unless something changes). If you want to continue to see my original jokes friend or follow me on facebook https://t.co/RdnT6s7FDY or subscribe to my monthly email list: https://t.co/K8xZaHTTon

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

What's the over-and-under on #ELONMUSK taking #Twitter public again and declaring some sort of victory?

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

@notthatLew @jilltwiss @WendyLiebman @NellSco @JoeToplyn @HalfOnionInABag (though I have no idea who this half-onion is).
If I left you out, it's only because I didn't scroll down far enough to see a recent tweet of yours. Or you're not that funny.

[Shaun Eli Breidbart @ShaunEliComedy]

I was listening to a podcast with @lizmiele where she talked about retweeting. I haven't done that much because I don't have that many followers here. But I realized it's the thought that counts. Here are some super-funny people you should follow:
@lizmiele @anylaurie16 (more)