She wants to be wanted.
Not just loved.
Not just provided for.
Wanted.
Small things compound.
A date night you planned, not one she had to organise.
A compliment that costs nothing but lands deeply.
A text with no agenda.
The deliberate choice, in the middle of a packed week, to choose her anyway.
I have watched marriages survive brutal seasons because the pursuit never died.
And I have watched good marriages go cold because nobody kept the fire going.
Keep pursuing her.
She married you.
She did not retire from needing to feel chosen.
When last did you do something purely to make her feel wanted... not needed, not provided for, but wanted?
“You’re overthinking,” he said.
Maybe.
Or maybe I was finally thinking clearly.
I started noticing patterns.
The almost apologies.
The temporary effort.
The way my needs felt optional.
So I adjusted.
Less explaining.
More observing.
When I finally pulled back, he panicked.
“Why does it feel like I’m losing you?”
I looked at him steadily.
“You weren’t losing me.”
Pause.
“You were neglecting me.”
And neglect has consequences.
Society says: Marry the person you love but
The Bible says: Love the person you marry
Society says: Love is a feeling but
The Bible says: Love is a choice
Society says: Find the right person & you'll be happy but
The Bible says: chose the person who leads you closer to Christ
Society says: Follow your heart but
The Bible says: Guard your heart and be faithful
Society says: When it gets hard - leave but
The Bible says: When it gets hard lean on me
Society says: Live for yourself but
The Bible says: Serve the ones you love
Society says: Bachelor life is fun but
The Bible says: He who finds a wife finds a good thing
Stop calling it communication issues when he understands his boss, his friends, and strangers on the internet just fine. He only becomes “confused” when the conversation requires him to take responsibility and change behavior.
He heard you. He just didn’t respect the consequence. Women don’t get resentful because men don’t understand. They get resentful because men understand perfectly and keep choosing themselves anyway.
RULES FOR ARGUING WITH YOUR SPOUSE
1. Never threaten divorce. NEVER!
2. Don't bring up your spouse's past mistakes
3. Listen more than you talk
4. Don't lose your tempter
5. Don't try and "win" the argument. You're on the same team
6. Seek to understand
The worst feeling for a wife is when she tries to have a conversation her man about his behavior that hurts her. But instead of listening, he gets angry & turns it around on her. Making it look like she's the one with the problem. She's not nagging, she's just asking to be heard.
5 Things you should NOT stop doing in your marriage ...
1. Dressing up nice for a date.
2. Bringing flowers or a surprise for no reason.
3. Flirting and sending sweet texts.
4. Holding hands.
5. Turning off electronics just to be together.
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