shay💋

purrr

[shay💋 @ShaylaB_]

my neighbor is fucking dumb. he just complained about us leaving our back porch light on for when we take our puppy out at night… get fucking curtains???

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

You cannot force families to carry disabled children to term while simultaneously gutting the education, healthcare, and support systems those families need to care for them.

[crunchyrugger @crunchyrugger]

having dinner at a hotel bar the other night struck up a conversation with a mid-level United Healthcare exec. he told me he puts over $300,000 a year on his company credit card just for entertaining clients. In case you’re wondering why you can’t afford health insurance

[miia @miiagarro]

if i had a gun i would put stickers on it

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when i'm having fun on a Sunday and it reaches 6-7pm

[seiya @systole_]

If you sneeze more than three times in a row they have to put you down

[shay💋 @ShaylaB_]

this is baby , but we call hims Cozy💕 #cutestpup #cavalier

[HTHAZE @hthaze]

this this funny fuck you guys

[SAY CHEESE! 👄🧀 @SaycheeseDGTL]

Jeff Bezos said the bottom half of Americans should pay ZERO federal income tax.

Why is a nurse in Queens making $75K a year and paying $12K in taxes??! “we shouldn’t be asking this nurse in Queens to send money to Washington.”

[shay💋 @ShaylaB_]

ride or die but i got 9 lives

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

the older i get the heller the no

[Chrissy @Chrissy__Dee]

Nobody but God knows when a hair appointment will end.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

[pamplemousse @CushieButt]

i bet your shoulders taste like summer

[shay💋 @ShaylaB_]

T.J for short of course

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

Opening Twitter is like having a lil phone cigarette

[🦢 @damnidc__]

Dave Chappelle said "i got paid 25K when i was 17 and was scared to walk around with it in a backpack cause i never had something somebody wanted. i know they would kill me if they knew i had this money. now imagine having a pussy." Give this man a medal.

[alien @alienincrisis]

what is a normal amount of thinking

[PeePee🎀 @peegzy1]

Ngl our parents really ate with printing out our pictures and putting them in albums.

[cj- @cjnieI]

One thing about butterflies they do not fly in your house that’s a bug with class