Maddie Stewart

[You Exist in the Context @centristpeater]

Is inviting a girl to your air-conditioned home in Europe similar to inviting her to your yacht in America

[maddy catgirlprostate @catgirlprostate]

Americans don't go outside, except for the 23 seconds it takes to walk from their air conditioned cardboard homes to their air conditioned cars that they drive to the nearest air conditioned Walmart that's a 36 minute drive away because of zoning laws

[A🏹 @seattleiminyou]

I’m friends with people who fuck the ugliest men I’ve ever seen stop saying I’m lying

[Yunie ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა @ppletomyeye]

In my retweeting era because I’m just speechless

[j nova @jnova_mp3]

i’m fucked up inna crib scromiting rn

[ernest @earnestbet]

do you have the courage and strength to be a 27-year-old loser?

[alondra @alondramaren]

Idk which friend gave you ptsd but baby you do not have to pay me back for a 3 dollar mcchicken

[𝙳�� 𝙸𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 🧡 @TrudiiBee]

The best summer outfits start with a shower & deodorant. Pls remember that.

[the rain, the sea, and the hours @barnfell]

in which american city should the global community host our nuremberg

[stevie @adultmomband]

hey (threateningly) can I join your years old tight knit close friend group

[G.S. Quay @hemingquay]

Possibly the funniest thing ever printed in the Washington Post.

[timmygami eyes @deliclit]

The concept of 45 minutes.. love that

[sydney @demiurgently]

if people aren’t a little bit surprised you work in STEM you need to get hotter

[garshmo @garshmo]

I’m still seeing some dude’s high beams from 3 days ago

[Gülce @exitsenses]

Handsome I am about to decenter you

[kate @ummyouguys]

asserting my dominance by making men laugh

[chase @cfree94]

ok can someone PLEASE just do it already…