Shelby Thompson

Next stop, the twilight zone

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

Cardi B is getting into tax policy now. She says she's paying 40% of her income in taxes and wants to know where the money is going..."when you donate to a kid in a foreign country, they give you updates on what they're doing with your donation....I want updates on my tax money."

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

My boyfriend is so quick to judge people, but yet he casually naps in jeans.

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

My dog is my child. I take her on play dates while I get drunk with my friends. I’m the typically Las Vegas mom.

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

To the person that hardcore judged me for eating cookie dough in my car...this is just a regular Tuesday night for me.

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

I still find myself thinking who actually brought the bottle of Jack Daniels on the bus during the 8th grade trip.

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

Hungover? Pedialyte. Sick? Pedialyte. Dehydrated? Pedialyte. Broken heart? Pedialyte. Bored? Pedialyte.

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

@Claudiaa81 Give them to me

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

I'm excited for when I can actually leave a water bottle in my car over night and it still being cold the next day

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

@_JackAult I'm sorry I had to lol

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

@_JackAult Winter is coming

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

Winter is coming

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

Fuck it I got the double double with fries and a chocolate shake. Time to live a little

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

At 4am red lights don't exist

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

@Cayyykes It's a desert up in this Bitch!

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

It's nothing like working in 120 degrees and coming home finding out the a/c is out in my house....

[Conor McGregor @TheNotoriousMMA]

THE FIGHT IS ON.

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

Rule number one when getting your car windows tinted: don't roll down the windows...& what do I do? Accidentally hit the windshield wipers

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

Being drunk and trying to fix thing around your grandmas house isn't a good mix

[Shelby Thompson @ShebsThompson22]

The cabana servers at my job today told me I'm not as obnoxious this year and like me better.....welcome to tape number 7