@iamBlessed🦅

Dream chaser & hustler || Take every shot you can || Being broke happens to be my biggest fear || Isaiah 41:10👏

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@SOFTGEE7 @olajumokeokenla Why is that a red flag? But women asking men for money isn’t a red flag? lol truly men are the enablers.

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@OloriFluffy Nothing like love language!

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@1_of_d_twin Of course

[Victoria Olamide👸😍❤️ @VikyInsights]

70% of women would rather start fresh with someone who doesn 't know their flaws than put in the work to change their own bad habits and character. 💔

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

On Marital Kindness

Now the dust have settled on Uvo’s divorce, it is important we address the elephant in the room that has made everyone mount the wall of Jericho in their personal lives. Many people are afraid of investing in a partner out of fear of being hurt in return and made to look like a fool.

But marriage unites and relationships come with responsibility. If you’re going to marry a person, you have a responsibility to love and to cherish. You have to make them believe because you believe, and give them wings to fly. That is why your vetting process must be thorough and you must take their behavior seriously. There are no guarantees , but it is always better to err on the side of due diligence than blind faith.

Many of you have so much to lose and you’re partnered up with someone that has nothing to lose. Long term, investment in the union is mostly one sided. If you are in such kind of partnership, it would be assumed that it is what you like. The sacrifices and investment you make in your partner is meant to improve their life and the overall welfare of the family. Half the time, it works fine and the other half brings tragedy.

Nobody can ask you not to love your partner because you chose them and you have a responsibility to love them. However, the words of Jesus must always find its way in your heart - “where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be.” A marriage unites two people as one, including their finances. While there are no guarantees, the odds of commitment are infinitely higher when both parties are fully devoted financially to the union. It already takes devotion to commit your finances, and because your finances are invested, your heart will always be there because you want to reap the rewards. It is easy to be indifferent to a relationship where your finances are not invested.

Making money is not enough. You need to understand the bond between the heart and finance. You would think you’re good by carrying all the financial responsibility when you have a working partner, but it might just be the very thing that cracks the wall. Everything you have belongs to the family - quite alright. But everything your partner has also belongs to the family. If you’re the only one investing your finances in the home, it is only your heart that is guaranteed in that home. Investing financially into the home is not just about money and who makes more, it is about ensuring devotion. A person’s heart is always where their money is. Don’t you want to at least be certain your partner’s heart is present? What exactly are they using their money for if it doesn’t go into the family because wherever that money goes, that is where their heart is.

It is not unkindness to not want to be the sole investor in a union of two. It is actually kindness that wants mutual kindness. You are both putting the relationship first before self. Even if it goes wrong later in future, at least you know you both brought your best foot forward and invested in it. There would be no malice as with when you solely invested and you’re lamenting about how much you invested into the other person while they did nothing. If it works fine, you can both drink to your deliberate act of love and commitment to each other. Again, where your treasure is, that is where your heart is. There is no exception. Don’t odogwu yourself into self harm. Nobody who loves you holds back their finances. NOBODY!

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

I have one piece to share.

I hope all these TL conversations do not poison your heart.

I hope you're not training your mindspace to start choosing partners from a place of fear, or lowered likelihood to cheat. Ask Israel Juju.

These are faulty compasses.

Churchgoers cheat. Atheists cheat. Hijab wielders cheat.

Virgins cheat. Adelebos cheat. 20s cheat. 30s cheat. 40s cheat.

I hope the factors that calibrate your values, are not from Twitter thinkpieces but are strengthened offline. Else, you will end up as a box of ruin.

My safest predicators for relationships are:

- brackets,
- reciprocity.

If you're doing well financially, box within potentials like you doing well financially. Don't be a 7fig earning techie & you'll be hunting smallies struggling with 200L carryover in Laspotech.

Mental brackets. Intellectual brackets. Financial brackets. Exposure brackets.

One of my theories as to why, people (read men) scale way below these brackets is because they're scripting scenarios for control. They're hunting "bendable" women. Chief, she won't be naive forever - but I'll expand on this, some other time.

Be big on reciprocity. As you're doing for your partner in the early weeks, if they like you they would be doing as much.

Using the filters of brackets and reciprocity, are safer predicators than fear and paranoia.

[Danny Walter 🧸 @AjeboDanny]

Growing up as a young (fine) man, people offered me money a lot.

Sometimes as gifts, for friendship, or relationships. Sometimes for sex or just to have access to me.

But I learned early that free things are rarely free.

When people give you something, even when they don’t say it, there is usually an invisible debt attached. You start owing them time, attention, friendship, companionship, loyalty, or access you may not even want to give.

I hated that position because I like to choose my friends and relationships on my own terms.

There’s a line in David Graeber’s Debt: The First 5,000 Years that stayed with me:

“By gifts one makes slaves and by whips one makes dogs.”

It explains how both can be forms of control. One is just quieter.

Even as a young man, I understood that the giver and the receiver are on two completely different trajectories.

The giver is forced to earn, produce, and create value.
The habitual receiver learns to wait, depend, and slowly become whatever keeps the giver interested.

At some point, you have to release yourself from the take mentality because the longer you live only to receive, the more you train yourself to wait instead of build.

The moment I started earning more, I gave more. I did giveaways here. I paid hospital bills. I even handed my shoe business over to my sales girl. And each time I gave, I earned more.

Refusing free money, rejecting transactional intimacy, and choosing the harder road of becoming the person who could give is the mindset shift that changed my life.

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@steezy10_ Breakthrough

[Onyeka Nwelue @onyekanwelue]

Nigerian writer lands ¥85 million Japan book deal https://t.co/swMFnFi8GI

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

When you think about yourself, make sure that picture isn't small.

Your current situation may not be in sync with your preferred trajectory but make sure your picture about yourself isn't small.

You sef no small.

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@jon_d_doee @iamklausenburg Just did

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

Na the man wan mumu na. If you choose to be the sole giver in a relationship, you're not a victim. Nobody is stingy. They dont love you. Women are okay dating men they are not in love with, have no love for, and have no desire to love.

It is your responsibility to not commit to one. Everyone loves by giving because where ypur money is, that is where your heart is. If she is not spending her money on you intentionally and regularly, she does not love you.

[AKIN-MADE @bibzyCarter]

Anyone that loves you will always bring ease into your life.

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@Miz_Fey That’s also cohabitation

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@_oluwatomiisin Which of the food? 🙃

[AKIN-MADE @bibzyCarter]

Many of us men don’t read meaning into you liking multiple tweets or photos.

If you like the guy, send the DM.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

Oh wow ? Lol.. Just wow!!

[@iamBlessed🦅 @Shegelu]

@bibzyCarter Way to go

[AKIN-MADE @bibzyCarter]

I don’t talk bad about people I’ve been with.

Each of them was my decision, and they gave me emotional satisfaction at the time.

[The Odin @TheOdin_II]

Learn to fall in love with someone who still wants to understand how your mind works, even on the slow and boring days.

Someone who can see things differently from you without turning it into a fight. Someone who can laugh even when the conversation is serious.

Someone who keeps learning, keeps thinking, and never stops growing.

🤷‍♂️