Sohail Alam

The very tired guy.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Corporate jobs are crazy because you can work your ass off all year, hit every KPl, get 5 stars on your annual review, and still only get a 2% raise.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Desis be like yeh humara guest room hai aur aap humaray guest hain so aap humaray bedroom main soyen gay aur hum guest room main.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

"Sajni" by Farhan Saeed is to me what Cocomelon is to kids.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

It's okay funds, I'm insufficient too.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

I like the gym because seeing the same 5 people every day and never speaking to them is the kind of socializing | enjoy.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

my music taste diverse as fuck. you can call me polyjammerous shit, you could even call me genrefluid.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy taken. Happiness comes from food, not relationship.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

2 surgeons collapsed after 32 hours long surgery to remove the leg of my relatives from my personal affairs.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Reason for sick leave: Mere mitochondria mein power khatm ho chuki hai.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Corporate rule: If the problem is too big, schedule a meeting and make it everyone's problem.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

They say it takes 21-45 days to form a habit. I've been working in corporate for 8 years and it only takes 1 weekend for me to forget what I do for work.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Jokes on you unknown number, I barely answer the people I actually know.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Remember when we used to think people in their 30's were adults and had their shit together?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahaja hahahahahahahahahahhahaahhaha hahahahahahahhaahhahelpme

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

You up?
(Sent at 8:07pm)

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

Sorry for texting back instantly.
My phone is in my hand, l'm mature and I like you.

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

I keep attracting ladies who always be fighting demons.
God if I'm an exorcist, say that!

[Sohail Alam @Sheikh_sahebb]

mom, dad, this is the girl I exchange reels with

[No Context Fan TV @NoContext_FanTv]

THE BOTTLE IS ON😂😂😂😂

https://t.co/wRUV84M1L4

[Feroze Ali @feroze17]

AFTV and chill 🍿🍿🍿