Olivia
Online
its Shelley, not Shirley. Sorry 🤷♀️
@ShellsPemBroke
“You sound like you need antibiotics and Jesus” - @RoryPetzer 2024
johannesburg
Joined April 2009
1.6K Following
10.2K Followers
100.4K Posts
Pinned Tweet
🇿🇦 I am a South African. And I think we’re kinda fucking great. Sorry, but this is factual. I live in an underrated country. Here’s a thread of why I feel this way.
Spoiler: you’re gonna hate some of these. 🇿🇦
I was reminded of what’s important last night. And that’s bad animal puns on this hellfire timeline.
What’s the best cow name?
I’ve got:
Steak Lively
Mince Vaughn
Beefer Sutherland
SirLoinel Richie
Rumpry Bogart
Hoof Hefner
@tiredfeminist_ Yeah, as someone who has had this happen in the last few months, can confirm that it is FUCKED.
Who to follow
@cathjenkin My kiddo is not doing great, friend 😔 and I know who I’m blaming.
I believe in ghosts. Mostly so that I can shout at them to get rid of my frustrations without troubling the living.
@maxui This is my favourite one. You are the winner.
I know I’m a grown up because whenever I watch a teen series or movie, my first question is always, “where the fuck are the parents in all this?”.
@JamesPrestonZA Dairy Washington
Leather Locklear.
Cackle.
@Jess_Obese God. He mooooonwalks, doesn’t he?
@cpt_depression_ The pig one will be another day. Today is strictly bovine.
It’s cool that people I connected with on this app are like actual real-life friends now. Like we know about each other’s lives. It’s fucking rad. I like people.
Heard kiddo plodding around in the middle of the night complaining about a nosebleed.
When i woke him up this morning, there was dried blood smeared all over his face.
This woke me up better than 5 coffees directly to my brain.
My kid pissed me the fuck off today and I had a rage cry and wanted to quit being a mom. But I did find a new place that sells popcorn at the office for R5 cheaper.
So overall, not the worst day.
@cathjenkin I’ll be 40 next year. Can I join?
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