I still can't believe I came up with this.
Models: Kristina Nichol & Tehillah Newel
Makeup: Kristina Nichol
Set: Shem Chung Tam
Directed, Lit, Shot, Retouched: Me
During the Vanity Fair photo session, Vance cracked: āIāll give you $100 for every person you make look really shitty compared to me. And $1,000 if itās Marco.ā
https://t.co/zuubdyCAdT
Unbelievable what vanity fair let Christopher Anderson do at the White House - really feels like heās making fun of them, obviously the close upās are incredible but placing them up against walls this like is wild - have to wonder what the white house thought they were portraying
Refusing to be numb is a radical act. Caring about the earth while they destroy it. Caring about strangers while they deport or bomb them. Youāre not ātoo sensitive.ā Donāt let people make you feel ashamed of your empathy and humanity. Youāre still human. Stay that way.
One morning in January, I woke up and it was like a spell had been broken the way I looked around my room and saw how dull everything was, not because it was lacking but because of how full it was of stuff.
Stuff I didnāt particularly love. Stuff with no serious meaning to it. Stuff I didnāt care about. Stuff that, if you had secretly tossed, I wouldnāt even realize went missing. Stuff I bought because it was trendy at the time, because my friend had it, because I had seen attractive influencers my age brag about it on Instagram, and it made me think that I could be her.
So, I did a bit of Marie Kondo-ing and produced a few large bags of clothes and trinkets and stuff for donation. Standing in front of all my stuff, it hit me that all of it used to be money, and all of that used to be time. I was standing in front of the metabolic waste of my existence, materialized. I was looking at the amount of my time, therefore my life, that had been turned into garbage. And the worst part is that I couldāve prevented it.
A movie scene that has stuck with me for years comes from Spirited Away, where Chihiro finds her parents turned into pigs. Itās comical to describe, but when you put yourself in her shoes, itās terrifying: itās every childās nightmare to lose their parents to a force they canāt control. The panic she feels in that scene speaks to me deeply, the feeling of watching your loved ones do something that you know is wrong but being called āsillyā when you try to stop them.
Materialism isnāt evil; it can be gorgeous through the frames of abundance or art. Miranda Priestlyās āstuffā monologue from The Devil Wears Prada, for example, shows how material creates jobs, fuels culture, and shapes history. Miyazakiās plates of food are dramatically overblown and colorful and delicious, but Chihiroās parents donāt think about what they consume, only about how much. When she confronts them, her father shrugs: āItās okay. I have my credit card and some cash.ā
This is the mindset that will make you waste your life away into bags of garbage: the idea that shopping is a material issue, and overconsumption is a budgeting problem, rather than a spiritual problem. Itās easy to be Spirited Away, whisked into another world operated by desires that come from ads and friends and fleeting trends. Your appetite for novelty and your fear of missing out sucks the joy out of youāthe more you eat, the hungrier you are. The more you spend, the more vapid you feel. You lack spirit, not another fashion identity. You donāt need another aesthetic, you need stronger values.
The title Spirited Away in Japanese is Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi, and kamikakushi means āhidden by the gods,ā a folk belief where people mysteriously vanish into another realm. This film is about magical abduction and losing your identity. Chihiro loses her name and becomes āSenā: to be spirited away is like being stolen from yourself, forgetting who you are under the influence of forces like greed, fear, angerāand whoās to say that emotions arenāt magical? That desires arenāt demonic possessions of the mind (ādemonicā meaning āgodlike divisive superfactorā in Greek)? Whoās to say that feeling horny isnāt its own kind of spell? We literally use āmaniaā and ācrazeā to describe the way people desire something: Beatlemania, the craze with Labubus, matcha being āall the rageā.
Lust, for example, is the feeling of wanting something really badly. It doesnāt have to be a carnal desire but itās about a possessive craving that ends in a feeling of collapse, an appetite that, once appeased, reveals its emptiness:
"Lust is the deceiver. Lust wrenches our lives until nothing matters except the one we think we love, and under that deceptive spell we kill for them, give all for them, and then, when we have what we have wanted, we discover that it is all an illusion and nothing is there. Lust is a voyage to nowhere, to an empty land, but some men just love such voyages and never care about the destination." āBernard Cornwell
Shopping has this effect on me, the voyage is more satisfying than the destination. There is such thing as post-purchase clarity: the moment when you buy something trendy and you suddenly sober up to how much you donāt care about it (let alone like it); you just want to be seen having it.
Spirited Away is most known for the character with the least lines: a masked ghost who can conjure gold. He has no backstory, we only know that he is banned from entering the bathhouse. Chihiro, out of kindness, lets him in. No-Face is refused service at first, but the staff quickly compromise their values upon seeing his gold. They serenade him, āWelcome the rich man. Heās hard for you to miss. His butt keeps getting bigger, so thereās plenty to kiss!ā while they fight for the gold nuggets that plop out of his fat hands. Then, he devours the workers in despair when he realizes their kindness is bought, and only Chihiro is genuine.
The painful part of loneliness is the realization that most people are ass-kissers and friendship is rare. Likewise, people feel the most alienated when they suddenly sober up to the fact that most of their desires are herd-driven, that most of them are no where close to the truth, if they even have a clear enough sense of what that is that matters to them. Itās like waking up from a trance state and realizing, What have I done to myself? I certainly felt this way standing in front of my garbage bags. Loneliness, alienation, addictions and self-defeating loopsāthese are not material problems, but ādesireā problems.
Iām finally coming to understand what Girard meant by, āAll desire is a desire for being.ā We think we want things, but every desire points to a way of life, a kind of person we long to become. Objects seduce us not with their utility but with their promise of transcendenceāstatus, attention, belonging. Thatās why No-Face has no face: he is desire itself, the appetite to become, the emptiness that consumes while wishing it were someone else.
Money reveals this: In Roman mythology, the temple of Juno Moneta was both sanctuary and mint (itās where we get the words āmoneyā and āmonetaryā). To strike a coin was to sanctify it with divine authority, so it circulated as both economic and spiritual power. It still does: money organizes meaning. Fiat currency works because we collectively believe it means somethingāfiat literally ālet it beā in Latināits meaning assigned by our shared narrative. And because money is tethered to desire, it doesnāt just reflect value; it follows it. Itās the pull of eyes when a sports car glides down a street. Itās Bernard Arnault, CEO of LVMH, saying āwhen you create desire, profits are a consequence.ā Shopping is not independent from the spiritual realm that strips away our names, and itās a very literal form of kamikakushi.
When we feel the weight of our limits, we start reaching toward idols to imitate, goals to chase, places to explore, people to meet. What weāre really chasing is a sense of immortality or infinity, something that lives longer than we ever will. We want to be remembered long after weāve left a conversation, the company, the world.
Desire is never about the object itself. If it were, once you acquired it, the desire would vanish. Yet, your wardrobe keeps getting stuffier while you still find yourself with nothing to wear. Desire is about what the object seems to promise us: a fuller, richer existence. This is why Marie Kondoās āspark joyā test is great: it reframes consumption as discernment. It asks whether an object raises your spirit or weighs it down. Left unchecked, your possessions take away your freedom to be who you are. As Fight Club says, āThe things you own end up owning you.ā
Every now and then, I feel my value system collapsing under the seduction of Aloās knitwear sets through their windows. Overall, none of this is about āhow to spend lessā, itās about the freedom to just be⦠you.
"You are not your job, youāre not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. Youāre not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis." āChuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)
Stronger values make you spend more mindfully because they shift the axis of desire. When you know what you worshipāwhat you actually stand for and who you want to becomeāeverything gets tested against that vision. Values act like a sieve: they filter out the empty cravings that come from comparison and they let through only the things that genuinely serve your spirit. Without values, desires lead you astray by following ads and algorithms and the envy of friendsāa state commonly known as ābeing distractedā.
The scariest part of Chihiro watching her parents turn into pigs is that they couldāve simply walked away. The unattended food stalls feel like a test of whether one can resist charming distractions. Like the family in Spirited Away, youāre rarely forced to follow one desire over another (until you choose wrongly, and only later realize what youāve done, if you realize it at all). But if you aim at your highest valueāplacing no other gods above it, coveting nothing of your neighborāsāyou free yourself from the distractions that split your soul and can refocus your being on becoming who you want to be.
in my teenage years when i was a loser in high school i decided to go to a summer camp on the other side of the country where i didnāt know anyone for the sole purpose of kissing a girl for the first time. this was my bangkok.
it was a last ditch effort, a desperate reach into the abyss, an offensive parlay into the next step of manhood. upon arrival to this camp there was a standard orientation followed by the assignment of our cabins and bunkmates.
the sun was nearly setting. cabin 12. top of the hill. the last male bunk before the quarter mile walk through no manās land to the girl bunks. i had been deployed to a strategic infantry foothold. my mission was simple: infiltrate. identify. kiss. dont get accused of sexual misconduct.
it was a few days in when i saw her. we locked eyes as she walked up the hill and i down. good morning gorgeous! would you like to make me a man?
she had to be mine. but i lacked the proper charm and charisma. i kept getting stuck in the friendzone due to my kind heart and because i was such a nice guy and girls donāt like nice guys they like assholes like blake who drinks beer wow dude youāre so cool because girls like you and you have social skills and play sports and get invited to parties and get tagged in facebook photos and arenāt a weird incel like me wow dude youāre sick bro that must feel awesome to be normal and desired and you asked me to let you copy my homework and i said yes but i wasnāt happy thatās sick bro at least im a nice guy you donāt deserve her
fast forward a few weeks and we are acquainted. im actually coming out of my shell as i get to know her. christina. from winnetka. auburn brown hair and green eyes. she was Her.
i was rapidly falling for her but did not know the way to take our friendship to the next level. this was the part where usually the girl would tell me about her crush and call me her best friend on oovoo. i wanted to avoid this tragic fate.
i sat up late in my cabin wondering what i could do. i finally gave in and asked my bunkmate.
his advice stuck with me. āmake her feel special, but make it look like an accident.ā
patriot.
the time to strike was unclear to me until it was thrust upon me without warning. kayak day at the lake. her and i in a friendly race from shore to shore. her manic rowing causing her kayak to topple. her falling into the water. me diving in after her. water going up my nose but my lizard brain knowing if i cleared my nostrils sheād get the ick. i really do hate women
us paddling slowly in silence to the shoreline. the quiet constant droning of the cicadas and crickets as we sat on the dark sand. her soft words of gratitude. my tom brady calmness in replying āit was nothing.ā
2 minute drill. i command the offense now.
our eyes locked. i felt the spark. 16 years of kissless virginity coursing through my veins. fuck it. im going for it.
we made out for 3 minutes before she started giggling and saying we should go back before we get in trouble. i obliged with a retard smile glued to my face. i was invincible. only white people can feel this way.
the rest of camp we were inseparable lovers. every moment felt like this video. she was my world. then i didnāt get her number on the last day. and then i found her on facebook and she didnāt look at all how i remembered. we talked a bit and then it fizzled out and life happened and sheās married with a kid and i have an nft profile picture on twitter.
anyways men constantly see this video and say āthey took this from usā but really thatās ridiculous because if a girl is attracted to you and you arenāt an awkward weirdo she will look at you this way and you will feel that divine spark between each other in all you do. just like me and christina did for that brief summer. our love was worth more than the life of any immigrant.
alternatively, gay men receive this treatment from women in clubs, nightly, and still end up having sex with them 30% of the time. incomprehensible
"You, who cried when you saw Life is Beautiful and Schindler's List. You, who think you're a revolutionary on social media, but make fun of a fleet of civilians facing a nuclear power. You, who, from the couch, laugh at those who risk their lives so that a little girl can eat. The danger isn't just Israel. You're also the danger."
"I would kill 100 people to save my kids."
Okay, would you read a scientific study about how essential vaccines are? Or is your parenting limited to just acts of made up and gratuitous violence?