Shep

CMU ΣΠ | May we be 40 years in heaven before the devil even knows we’re dead

[Shep @ShepShep51]

Michigan drivers are the best drivers in the country without a doubt.

No one else can avoid 5 potholes while doing 60 and make it feel natural like we can

[Dan Skipper @DanSkipper70]

Hey @NFLFilms y’all wanna post a bunch of BS and then won’t stand on business? Feel free to go into a deeper dive in some of the other storylines. #soft

[Eric Newcomer @EricNewcomer]

no atheists in a foxhole. no libertarians in a bank run

[Javed @PastTenseOfJav]

the fuck they wont

[Barstool Detroit @BSMotorCity]

Jamaal Williams got fined more for being too sexy than Quay Walker did for shoving a Lions athletic trainer.

Detroit vs Everybody.

[Boob McNutt @boobmcnutt67]

I am BEGGING you to watch this TikTok a dude has rarely rocked even half this hard

[Honolulu Blues @HonoluluBlues_]

Feels so good

[Detroit Lions @Lions]

𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 team.

[American Dialect Society @americandialect]

The suffix "-ussy" is the 2022 American Dialect Society word of the year. Read the full press release. https://t.co/GpC9f3sWdK

[Certified Vakabon @platinii954]

Brought that man out like a skillet from Chili’s.

[ellewasamistake @ellewasamistake]

>commits crimes
>"i think they're gonna put me in jail"
how does he do it

[dingus @ginger_ale_man7]

@ACABylonBee DOXXING ELON IS A FULL TIME JOB AND BROTHER IVE NEVER CALLED IN SICK

[FartPowder @fartpowder]

I work at this baby factory and they let us eat as many of the defective ones as we want

[Esmarelda Fitzmonster @corihealey]

Ran into your mom at the aquarium

[Discount🍉Emma🍉Stone (Taylor's Version) @Buffalojilll]

At my evangelical brother's wedding and contemplating choosing violence

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Crypto Confidence Soars After CEO Defrauds Customers Just Like Real Bank https://t.co/GU4C2V23Sd

[Brandon Hardin @hardin]

elon basically forcing brands to tweet things like "we're sorry you ever thought insulin could be free," incredible scenes