Leland Roach, Esq.

Wuss Poppin Jimbo? || Doom Scroller || Trial Attorney

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

An incompetent client bestowed an alter ego upon me today:

Leland Roach. A con man from Chandler, AZ known for executing “schemes like this.”

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

Dear @SecMullinDHS

Just a reminder of who you were when it mattered most.

[Gift🎁🧧 @belikegift6]

Accurate coworker age gap.

[Thrones Updates @ThronesUpdates]

Tom Glynn-Carney via Instagram:

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

Seeing a large friend group photo w no black people in it gives me heartburn

[Jamil @bust_jimmy]

Was it crispy?

Right.. right.

[scar 🗡️ @cerseidefender]

smoking a joint with brienne of tarth and she says thank you each time it's passed to her

[D🧊 @nobodyfwD]

Vhagar is the size of a building and somehow keeps catching people off guard like she’s invisible when airborne.
How is the biggest dragon also the stealthiest?

[Ruzy @0xRuzy]

Keanu Reeves revealed they didn’t know if The Matrix would succeed because test screenings went badly.

Keke Palmer: I always wanted to ask you, I mean, when you was doing The Matrix, did you think it was going to do what it did? I mean, how could you, you know...

Keanu Reeves: No idea. There were some test screenings beforehand that didn't go so well.

Seth Rogen: Oh God.

Keke Palmer: Really?

Keanu Reeves: Having that, going into the next step of the release, really set up like, we don't know how this is going to go.

Aziz Ansari: Wow.

Keke Palmer: Wow.

Keanu Reeves: But you know, as filmmakers...

Seth Rogen: Yeah, yeah.

Keanu Reeves: You start, I mean, just starting from an assembly, right?
Seth Rogen: Yeah, yeah.

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Just left Walter Reed and needless to say Mitch McConnell is recovering fine

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

USPS loves to not deliver your package and then blame you for it 😂

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

Cool, who fucking cares.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a 91-page dissent in the Supreme Court’s ruling striking down Trump’s birthright citizenship order.

[shelby @thetrueshelby]

They act like the biggest threat to society is a single mom buying soda with food stamps instead of a billionaire buying his 13th senator.

[Aaron Parnas @AaronParnas]

BREAKING: Second ICE agent criminally charged in Minnesota.

Christian Castro has been charged with assault after shooting a Venezuelan immigrant in January.

Minnesota prosecutors are going after ICE agents.

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

*Judge announcing hung jury/mistral*

Judge: Ladies and Gentlemen, which one of you was the foreperson?

*collective silence*

Juror #8: ….um

Judge: ….did you just elect to ignore that instruction?

Juror #5: We didn’t get to that part.

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

@thatlawyerLisa “Why hasn’t this case been dismissed yet? They can’t prove it!” - your client, probably

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

Why do yall think it makes sense to put your blinker on the moment you turn

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

Sources are reporting they prefer my hair long 🧐

[Leland Roach, Esq. @SheppBoyardee]

Saw a clients wife on a dating app while he’s in custody ☹️