I hope my depressive episode ends before my lesson at the school. I wouldn’t want to pass my bad energy onto the children. Unfortunately they don’t make a dish soap strong enough to penetrate deep seated life long sadness. #keeponwashing
Sometimes while i’m doing the dishes i process the internal conflicts that plague my brain but i can never quite quiet the pain that lives within me. It will probably remain in the soaking water of my soul even after my corpse ceases to pump its life-giving blood.
The local school is having me over to teach the children how to properly wipe plates dry with a small clean rag. I hope to impart some of my wisdom onto them as well. As a woman about to enter her 60s, gracefully, I can say I Have A LOT.
Sometimes I see my own reflection while doing the “washing up” (as I just learned they say in England) and I remember how I’ve lost the beauty of my youth.
I just dropped one of my husbands favorite plates and it shattered into a few big pieces. I guess I’ll be making his favorite savory dish tonight. He gets angry with me sometimes.
My youngest boy left for school last fall. Now I spend most of my days picking up after my husband when he leaves for work. Also doing other odds and ends around the house.
Sometimes doing the dishes makes me feel trapped in what feels like a hell of my own making , but other times it calms me down by giving me a sense of control over my surroundings.