Shevaun

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

It sure has been a month of a week.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

For better or for worse, through thick and through thin, unless there's an angry hornet. Then fuck you, you're on your own.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

I'm still not over being made fun of by a grade nine student for not wearing socks with my sandals.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

"I don't have that paper. I didn't bring my binder today, I don't need it."

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Every day feels like I'm on an episode of Degrassi.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

I got my first "I fucking hate you" from a student today. Apparently that's a rite of passage working in a high school

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

“Mama, I want to watch big ugly. Yogurt. Big ugly yogurt!”

Shrek. She wanted to watch Shrek.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

I had dry shampoo residue in my hair and Tiny Boss asked, “Mommy, why is your hair so grandma?”

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

G: I always thought my dad liked the news, turns out he only watched it because it was the only thing on tv.

Me: I thought my dad watched Heartland because it was the only thing on tv, turns out he just really liked Heartland.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

@JanayaFazekas The teeth, mostly 😂

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

I was gazing fondly at my collection of oddities and now wonder if perhaps that’s why we haven’t gotten any offers on our house.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Culminated in her biting me after I tried to sit down with her and have a calm discussion. Which lead me to putting myself in timeout for a couple minutes.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Tiny Boss had an accident and peed on the floor. Somehow it was my fault and she proceeded to lock me in the bathroom and scream at me to go away.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Three year olds are menaces.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Time to go play what I like to call “musical floors”, where I take the elevator to every floor in an office building downtown until I find my accountant’s office because I can never remember which floor he’s on.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

@OTerrifying That right there would be a big nope.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

A small win of today, I only fell asleep once while getting Tiny Boss to sleep.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

@caro One of the most amusing trends to me is wealthy people living like my poor ancestors did, just for fun.

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Okay who said, “make seaweed salad humanoid”?

[Shevaun @ShevSwarbrick]

Tiny Boss dropped a hair tie and without hesitation dove headfirst off the side of the couch to retrieve it