Tom Nihilism

I ninj, therefore I am.

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Got a file in a work email called "Addendum 3 (Revised)". Revised? You addended an addendum?

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

I have 2 rules about praising me:
1. don't insult me with false praise
2. don't embarrass me with real praise

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Well, may have figured out the twist before the end of the prologue. :p

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Good Idea: Checking to see if an order is here before calling the customer.
Bad Idea: Not doing that. :p

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

This company doesn't seem to mind that my PW to access their site is "[companyname]sucks1!" :p

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Would you like to live in this one-hundred and sixty (160) SqFt apartment with NO BATHROOM? Insane.

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Yeah, let me just travel 4,742 miles round trip during my 30 minute lunch break because im apparently the Flash. :p

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Coworker: Have you been to the new food carts?
Me: I'm going today.
CW: Me too. *leaves*
Me: :/

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

I never thought I'd advocate for Teams, but my coworkers like to talk to each other from separate rooms and I just >.<

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

The twist of this story is that the kid's grandma is a witch who alters reality...BUT let's him continue life missing a leg?

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

No, I did not "break down and have a donut, too;" I had one of my own fat a$$ free will. :p

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Boss: We need to have him (me) focused on his work and not answering phones or scheduling jobs.
Normal person, internally: Yes, finally.
Me, internally: oh, because I'm bad at those things.

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

Is it standard to design an apartment building more units than parking spaces? (like 38:27)

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

It's pronounced "lee-roy" not "luh-roy';" it's not French for "The Roy." :p

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

yeah, let me just accept your offer of less than half what I'm asking. >.<

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

I keep getting called out indirectly) by psychiatric Instagram posts and I DON'T LIKE IT >:(

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

I'm this close 🤏 to using "per my last email" at work. 😑

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

I didn't say you couldn't participate, so that's on me. ;P

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

You know who doesn't like the sound of bubble wrap being popped rapidly? The people listening to it. >.<

[Tom Nihilism @ShinobiShiro]

I noticed that my dog hasn't been "big stretching" (downward dog) recently and thought nothing of it...then I Googled it... :/