Shinoharazaki @Shinoharazaki - Twitter Profile

Shinoharazaki retweeted

bubs @_gluebubbles_

about 2 months ago

#kataang growing old together…..

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Shinoharazaki retweeted

positivity moon

@arrtnem

6 months ago

You did not throw those years away. You survived them in the only way you could at the time. Fear and depression are not hobbies. They are full time jobs that never clock out. Most of the work they force you to do is invisible. Nobody claps when you get out of bed on year three of feeling numb. Nobody gives you a medal for “did not completely fall apart today.” From the outside it just looks like “lost time.” Inside it was you hanging on by your teeth. That embarrassment you feel now is actually a good sign. It means your head is finally above water enough to look back and judge the shoreline. When you are really in the worst of it there is no embarrassment, just fog. A few things that might help you carry this without letting it crush you Name what those years taught you, brutally specifically Not the inspirational version. The real one. Stuff like: “I now know what ignoring my own anxiety looks like.” “I know how far I can drift if I say ‘later’ for too long.” “I learned which people vanished when I went quiet.” This turns that time from “trash” into “very expensive data.” Decide how many more years you are willing to give to fear Could be “zero”, could be “ok, I allow myself one slow year to rebuild.” Put a number on it. Out loud. Your brain takes numbers more seriously than vibes. Even something like: “I am not giving my thirties to autopilot” is already a line in the sand. Make one rule that prevents another blur of years Not a whole new life. One rule. For example: “Every day I must do one thing my anxious brain does not want to do that takes < 10 minutes.” or “Every month I must do one thing that moves my life one step forward on paper: send a message, book an appointment, apply, ask.” This is how you rebuild trust with yourself. Tiny, boring, repeatable. Treat depression like a broken bone, not a character flaw If you really think depression was involved, that is not a moral failure, that is a condition. Broken legs heal slower if you hate them. Same for brains. Talking to a therapist or doctor is not dramatic. It is maintenance. You already know that hiding it and hoping does not work. Let the humiliation move through, not root in When the thought comes up “I wasted years,” do not argue with it. Answer it. “Yes, I lost time. And I am the one who gets to decide what happens with the rest.” Shame freezes you. Honest regret can be fuel if you let it burn clean. simple little script you can steal for yourself tonight: “I lost time. It hurts. I am allowed to be sad about it. I am also not done. Tomorrow I will do one thing my old self was too scared or too tired to do.” And then tomorrow, do something laughably small that fits that line. Send the email. Open the document. Go for the walk. Book the call. You did not miss your life. You hit a long, ugly pause. The play button is still under your thumb.

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