Ship Faced

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@John_ForemanCBE @WarshipsIFR *Looks at Dark Blue Senior Officer Cohort*

You ok hun? 😬

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.

I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.

Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.

I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.

A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.

The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.

We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.

Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.

The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.

We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.

The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.

My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.

Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

I guess this is now safe on my toilet door 🤭 I loved my time in LANC, she really was a special ship 🥲

Good luck doing a full de-store in Bahrain 😩

[Vice Admiral Steve Moorhouse @smrmoorhouse]

As a former Commanding Officer, a true honour to join @HMSLANCASTER for her final alongside. 34 years operational service around the globe. The motto says it all: Nec Aspera Terrent - Difficulties be Damned.

BZ Lancaster and your families

[First Sea Lord and Chief of Naval Staff @GenGJenkinsRM]

Our success depends on the quality of our people and the strength of our leaders.  Speaking to the CO, Capt Will Blackett and the Ship’s Company made me confident that @HMSPWLS leadership has the right environment for teams to thrive and be the best they can be.
#LeadFightWin

[Harvard Business Review @HarvardBiz]

Stop telling women to be more confident. https://t.co/Ow8FatT8Zm

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

Now I take nothing away from the achievements of these rowers, but how about a gala dinner for the Ship’s Company of HMS Diamond, who shot down nine drones and a missile during 7 months on deployment in the Red Sea?

[Royal Navy & Royal Marines Charity @RNRMC]

The 4th annual HMS Oardacious Gala, attended by HRH The Princess Royal, unfolded in grand style at the historic Painted Hall of the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich in support of the Royal Navy & Royal Marines Charity.

[BBC Songs of Praise @BBCSoP]

“It's a really, really special time of year.”

#SongsOfPraise / Remembrance Sunday / Sunday 1:15pm / @BBCOne & @BBCiPlayer
https://t.co/HeIgVusJUn

#remembrance #remembranceday #royalnavy

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

#proud 🥹

[HMS Prince of Wales @HMSPWLS]

Our very own masterchefs judged in the Canape Competition... Would they gain a Michelin star?
#RNJobs

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@Chaz01BR @suis_marin @HMSPWLS @RNLogsjobs We’re at sea. Delivering the best scran I’ve had in 20+ years, day in, day out. I’m sad that your experience has left you so bitter. But it’s not reflective of how life is on this ship. ⚓️ 💪🏼 😊

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@matelotjonah @RN_engineers But it’s just a gimmick unless the people are bought into it. All the things you mention are about the people around you and a symbol of that unity. A ‘thing’ without the unity is just a gimmick. I think there’s better things to get after, that’s all.

[HMS Prince of Wales @HMSPWLS]

Action Messing:
✅ Food prepared
✅ 1040 people fed
✅ Galley secured
⏰ 65 mins!
#Logistics

[HMS Prince of Wales @HMSPWLS]

Departed Portsmouth this morning to take part in Ex Strike Warrior, alongside our Warfare Operational Sea Training.
#StrikeWarrior

[HMS Prince of Wales @HMSPWLS]

Operational Sea Training begins...

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@daleycatdude @SO3_aWEsome @NavyLookout @TomSharpe134 At the risk of being harsh, we kinda need people to join the Reserves and go to sea/deploy with regular forces. Not turn up to online sessions and play dress up 🤷🏼‍♀️

[HMS Prince of Wales @HMSPWLS]

Welcome back @HMSQNLZ 👊
This engineering period is complete for us and we're ready to go.
An important logistics stop awaits us...
See you soon!

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@fightingsailor Indeed, but still littler in size 😉

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

When you wake up to find that your little sister has appeared in your room overnight 😉☺️

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@iancharlton1958 @RoyalMarines To be fair, Victoria Pendleton is already toppers with medals: 3 Olympic and 34 World Championship ones 🥇 😉

[Ship Faced @Ship__faced]

@sarajcox Worzel Gummidge. Still am 😰