The Shires Cricketer

Still hanging on to that time I clean bowled a Grade player in the nets at Pre-Season. Would rather hide in Shires telling Grade hopefuls why they won't make it

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Attending the @ShiresCricket dinner tonight to see who in the Shires Sub Committee can hold their beers this year. Nothing like some online drama leading up to the big event. #sydneyshirescricket #cricketnsw

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Off-season plan as No1 rated Shires bowler: fix my technique, get fitter, stop bowling short shit. So naturally I’ll do none of that, gain 4kg, & rock up Rd 1 telling everyone “felt good in the nets.” They don’t need to know I’m 60 clicks short of the 160 I’ve told them about.

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Off-season: told the boys I’m “working on a few things” which means avoiding nets, watching one clip of Steve Smith on repeat, convincing myself my technique is just “unconventional.” Can’t wait to roll into Rs 1 with zero runs and elite vibes.

@ShiresCricket #sydneycricket

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

First weekend without @ShiresCricket and I’ve already appealed for LBW against the toaster, edged my coffee into first slip and pulled a hammy getting off the couch. Career ending exactly how it began: wildly optimistic and technically unsound. #sydneyshires #sydneycricket

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

A Green-sweep is seriously impressive, huge congratulations to @WarringahCC for winning all Grades 1-4 in @ShiresCricket .
Congrats to @nwshurricanes for winning U24s and the 1st Grade One Day Cup.

Oh and also unlucky Mounties for your narrow defeat in 3’s.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Good luck to all @ShiresCricket sides playing in finals this weekend.

Except Mounties. Hope @WarringahCC spray you into the bowling club and you think about it all the way back to Hoxton Park both evenings and all off-season.

#shirescricket #sydneyshirescricket #sydneycricket

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

It’s that time of year where home teams pray for rain, away teams help with covers and Mounties try and empty covers onto the pitch. #finals #shirescricket #sydneyshires @ShiresCricket

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

It’s so hard being this talented, bowling 130kmh but unable to get out of 2nd Grade. #shirescricket #sydneyshires #wastedtalent

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Day 1 cancelled due to heat, Day 2 forecast for rain. @LindfieldCC with the bye cheering.

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Just weeks to go until Round 1, but I’m still going to wait til 2 days before the season to go get my bat serviced at @KingsgroveSport even though I know it takes a week for oil to dry properly. I bat at 7 in 3rd Grade, I’m practically a God so it will be ready.

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Every @ShiresCricket club eagerly awaiting the draw to see when they get the bye. Those engaged set the wedding day out of season but the bye is bucks night.

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Burwood win 3 Premierships without winning any of the 3 games, Warringah win 4th and 5th Grade and the Club Championship, Lane Cove win the One Day comp. But the biggest win of the year is Mounties winning none of them. #shirescricket #sydneyshirescricket @ShiresCricket

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Thank you to the genius who put International Women’s Day in the middle of cricket finals. Hoping for a club discount at the divorce lawyer.

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

My walk out of the nets last night after I clean bowled a 1st Grader who tried to launch me out of the park for the 14th time in a row. Unlucky 13, champ. Pack ‘em.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

My talk today at the Presidential Parade

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

It’s that time of year where it’s fine for every @ShiresCricket club to train during the week and then rains every Saturday until the first weekend after the Grand Final. #shirescricket #sydneyweather

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

Speaking on behalf of all clubs in @ShiresCricket here when I ask WTF is going on at @lindfield_dcc

Points deduction for all grades for this shit. Individual bans too, you can sit on the sidelines with @imVkohli and check out each others shoulders

https://t.co/YjI5owQTAF

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

@isaguha apologised for her words today but we all know every Shires club has a group of U24s that speaks far worse on their own group chat or YouTube channel.

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

“Yeah, it’s doing a bit mate.”

[Garred Birrell @garredbirrell]

Fair chance this will pop up on socials this week.
Yesterday Surfers Paradise 3rd Grade were chasing 178 and were 4/174 with 1 over to go and lost 6 wickets in 6 balls to lose the game, I don’t think you will ever see a result like this again in your lifetime 🤯

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

I once said that the schedule was horrendous and I couldn’t cope with training twice a week in #SydneyPremierCricket so I retired to #shirescricketer because parkies is too serious

[The Shires Cricketer @ShiresCricketer]

@JournoMatCleary @rdhinds @gradecricketer @MWDCC @WarringahCC @CromerCricket I can finally say my batting average is higher than a team total. Still can’t get a go in 2nd Grade.