ShitDavidRoweSays

Graduate, random word masher, sexy beast

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - "Mogogogogogopoo. ...Wait, that's not what I meant to say.
Me - "WHAT COULD YOU HAVE MEANT?!?"

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Freddie - "I like blue flannel, it's rare. It's like you're the shiny pokemon of lumberjacks."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Me - "You should pause that book. ...Wait, tv."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Aunt Kathy - "50 years ago, we didn't have a Justice League. We just knew Batman and Superman wouldn't fight."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Tom - "You're a good man."
Mark - "Which makes me a terrible woman! How dare you!"

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - "But they like you. They don't want to believe you're evil. But deep in your heartest of hearts. ...Wait. Deepest."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Otto - "One of the fuckboys is evolving, he's getting married. He'll be a fuckman now."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

While subbing today, a kid kept pestering me for crackers. So when she wasn't looking, I ate them.

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Pancake - "Would a border jumper and a sex offender be Predator vs Alien?"

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Me - "I have the gift of shitty one liners."
Mark - "And I have the curse of curves. Because I'm fat."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - "I want to build a deck."
Me - "I heard you say deck, but my brain replaced it with snowman."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - (who weighs 500lbs ) "I may have gotten carried away."
Kirk - "How many people did it take?"

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

*talking about clown fish changing sex*
Tom - "Mom, why do you have a penis? (drops voice) I'm dad now."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - "Do you want to build a snowman?"
Me - "...but there ain't no fucking snow, man."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - "How does Luke keep his robe so white?"
Burkhart - "Midi-chlorine bleach."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Miller - "I'm a little teapot... 'cause I'm so fat."
Me - ._. "Lolwut"

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Miller - "The plant is huge, it can hold 150 footballs. ...Fields. ...Don't put that on twitter."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Mark - "We're all Yogi Bear. We're all smarter than the average bear."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Me - "Where's my lighter?"
Mark - "...In your hand..."
Me - "...tell no one of this."

[ShitDavidRoweSays @ShitDavidRSays]

Miller - "Reading is just staring at a dead tree and hallucinating."