Guido

Quotes from the man... Telling it like it is!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Hey carpet muncher in the Subaru Forester, the speed limit is 65mph! #gobacktoportland

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly....
"She can't Jelly your cock down her throat"

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

In 1 day Trump got more fat women out walking than Michelle Obama did in 8 years! #progress #MAGA

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

There are 3 things that never lie...Drunks, Little Kids, and Yoga Pants!!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

If you play like a pussy, you're gonna get fucked!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Bro, look at your chicks mom, if she's hot you're in... If she's not get out now!!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

And then I said #sitonmyface and let me eat my way to your heart!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

I could have buried Texas with what I just left in that bathroom

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Honey, come sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Checker at Target: man that's a lot of toilet paper...
Guido: I take big dumps...
#youaskedforit

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

What's the difference between a whore and a cunt... A whore does everyone in town, a cunt does everyone in town but me!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Hey you cocksuckers... I'm back in charge here!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Let's walk down the hill and fuck them all.

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

You know... It's like eating a bowl of bad snatch!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

Mama don't chop no firewood...Daddy's bring'in home a load!!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

"If you break it, I'll kick your ass so far up... You'll have to part your hair to shit"

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

I've got chapped lips and a headache. I'm dehydrated and have to take a dump...got a lot going on right now.

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

You better fuckin shave Tubbin! That thing looks like a built in shock absorber for cock.

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

A fartin' horse will never tire, a fartin' man's the one to hire!

[Guido @ShitGuidoSays]

I'd eat the peanuts out of her shit anyday!