Jimmy Lambs

[Chicago Blackhawks @NHLBlackhawks]

MEDICAL UPDATE: Forward Marcus Kruger (left leg) has been activated from injured reserve!

Defenseman Brandon Davidson (right leg) has been placed on IR, retroactive to Nov. 13. #Blackhawks

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I brought your purple sparkly lava lamp to work because you hated it, the people that came into my office loved it. It calmed me down.

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I'm gunna find God this lent

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

This guy knew me for 5 minutes and said he'd vote for me if I ran for president

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I'm watching 'Seed of Chuckie', 'Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters' and 'modern family' all at the same time. Just because I can.

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I'm gunna wear my Zak Efron shirt today #????

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

You wanna know what I had for dinner? A hot dog, a pork chop, pork and beans and some mustard. want me to make you a plate?

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I need my wallet. I know I put it in a stupid place last night. *finds it immediately*

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

*talking about mary to patty* "Is she bothering you? Kick her in the face and get her outta here"

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

*gets asked what his favorite store is* "county fair. wait, no...the liquor store!!!"

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I think I'm getting a pedicure tomorrow.

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I'll never have a cocktail and do that again. I thought I was gunna have a fucking heart attack. -post crossfit workout

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

Sunday's to me are just "eat and flop"

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

If I don't have a mint on my pillow when I go to bed I get nervous

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

The vodka has medicated me to the point where I'm okay

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

I'm a crossfit athlete

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

Pools open people! Membership applications to Lamburland are now being taken

[Jimmy Lambs @ShitJimLambSays]

if there is overtime, everyone's leaving. if there isn't overtime, we're drinking till dawn.