Shit Personal Trainers Say

What are your fitness goals?

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Young Trainer: How you doing sir? my name is...

Old guy whose been working out for 40+ years:

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Client: *Does absolutely anything*

Trainer: There you go!

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

I’m thinking about opening my own gym.

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Trainer: The machines are bullshit. You need to do more functional exercises.

Client: What’s a functional exercise?

Trainer:

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Client: Hey I can’t make it

Trainer: Ok that’s fine. Just do cardio or something to make up for this $90 session you just threw away because you didn’t meet our gym’s cancellation policy.

Client: *likes the message*

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Trainer: Yes, you have to pay an extra $900 a month to work out with someone in a place you already pay to workout in.

Client: Well can’t argue with that.

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Trainer: Have you been keeping up with your diet?

Client: Yeah, but I had some tacos and a couple of margaritas the other day.

Trainer: That’s not really good.

Client: but it was just that one time.

Trainer: Just do better next time.

Client: ok

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

Potential Client: I just want to tone.

Trainer: What it sounds like you need to start strength training and doing 3x10 on everything.

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

My client is late again

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

*Client performs an exercise for a set of 10*

Trainer: There you go!

[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

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[Shit Personal Trainers Say @ShitTrainersSay]

What are your fitness goals?