Dumb Trick

Trickin is a habit

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

Trick on first date: “I don’t know you, but I feel like you would really like silver asshole” (slyvan esso)

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

Just strap me to the bed and call it rehab

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

If my ex boyfriend invited me to his dinner wedding, I would send him a video of me burning the invitation

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

It’s like my labia is an opposable thumb

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

“TSA fondled my Cheez-Its”

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I’m honestly pretty thirsty tonight so anyone with two legs and a penis will do

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I had just gotten back from Columbia and had only had ceviche and cocaine for 6 days

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Congrats to @LoyolaChicago and Sister Jean for a last-second upset - I had faith in my pick!

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I’m so happy for you for moving in your boyfriend even though you’re living in sin

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

My latest enemy is noodles & company, more like noodles & fuckery

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I cannot believe you tricks were in that hot tub with their dicks out

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I drunk texted him “I should be playing hard to get but hi etc”

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

The last guy I️ gave a hand job to never called me back.

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I️ thought I️ was pregnant cause my boobs were sore but it was just because I️ was drinking soooo much beer.

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I️ needed to stop partying like a rock star and doing cocaine off people’s abs.

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I️ literally dated all of Southern California in the period of 2 months

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

"I really like hanging out with him, but I don't want to sleep with him."... "so you want to be his friend?... "oh. I never thought of that"

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I was drinking a martini and watching jeopardy the other day. I got half the answers right... I was happy about that.

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I feel like I wouldn’t mind lactating during sex.

[Dumb Trick @ShitTricksSay]

I won’t lie, I’ve watched the Miley Cyrus movie within the last 6 months. @MileyCyrus