Captain Shitpost

I'm just here for memes and booty

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

I think I've found it, this is how I want to die

[Kishi @Kishianimation]

Surrounded by ass , DBZ edition preview.
https://t.co/7KOY6ovpQU

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

To this end I guess I will say: Notice me (buka)

[yuki @mtndwr]

can u guys please stop telling my reply guys that i wont have sex with them or i dont care about them or i dont know they exist etc etc

i WILL fly out a fan and fuck them on camera just to spite u morons

[Cool Guy™ 🌈✞🌛 (Comms open!) @ChurchOfMoons]

Jaiden Animations legit getting a Spider-Man rogues gallery before our very eyes

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@mtndwr I'm still waiting for my turn, ma'am

[Emma Scott @EmmaScott]

🇺🇸 🇨🇦 🇲🇽 🇵🇦...

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@clubnamiko So, maybe try answering the door a little quicker? They got other shit to do and the world doesn't stop just for you

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

"we are close to creating an oil that can cure any ailment" - guy selling snake oil

[nacho @nachoeveryday]

I wish it was more common knowledge that almost all regulations exist because companies weren’t doing these things on their own and bad things were happening because of it.

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

Just call me the Deep, the way I'd be smashing this cephalopod

[Salt @SaltSeagull]

Can you leave me alone

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

Your biggest dipshittery is that you're trying to define morality as inherently religious but asking the question from a reductively pragmatic stance. You're trying to be Diogenes but without the wit, just walking in and jacking off onto people's floors.

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

*balls deep inside of a deer carcass*
WiThOuT ReLiGiOn HoW wOuLd YoU kNoW tHiS iS wRoNg? ChEcKmAtE, aThEiStS.

Gonna go out on a limb and say this dipshit definitely rode the short bus to school

[Rock Solid @ShitpostRock]

The best logical fallacy to give an atheist when discussing morals is to ask them why it's morally wrong to have intercourse with roadkill

It's dead it will not feel anything, nobody will know and there are no victims

If you ask a Christian or Buddhist why it's morally wrong, they will tell you it's because the body retains inherent dignity as part of God's creation (or the sacred flow of life), and desecrating it violates divine/natural order, harms your soul/karma, and shows disrespect, even if no one feels it or knows

An atheistic worldview of this question taken to its extreme, concludes that intercourse with roadkill is tantamount to masturbation and nothing more

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

If you need the threat of eternal torment and damnation to be a good person and not fuck a carcass then I would posit that you are not, in fact, a good person

[noor୨୧ @wottheberry]

my cousin just had to end her pregnancy at six months, and watching her walk back into a house with a half-assembled crib is the most brutal thing i've ever witnessed.

it was a deeply wanted pregnancy. they had the names picked out. but the 24-week scan showed a severe, fatal chromosome abnormality where the baby’s lungs weren't developing at all and the skull hadn't closed properly.

the doctors told them flat out that the baby would only survive for a few minutes after birth, entirely in pain, choking for air.

she had to make the most devastating decision of her life to choose a peaceful termination over a prolonged, agonizing delivery of a child that couldn't survive.

it makes me sick to my stomach seeing politicians and strangers on the internet who have never sat in a sterile hospital room listening to a fatal diagnosis talk about these procedures like they are casual, selfish choices.

nobody is doing this on a whim. it is a medical mercy, and a grieving mother deserves the right to make that call with her doctors without the entire world treating her like a criminal.

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@PollyPo42921975 Who asked for your opinion?

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@DonSanctor @itzblackdoll @wormymcwormersn

[Annie☠ @AnnieSFW]

"I lied to a psychiatrist for 9 months and they offered me trestment based on my lie"
what is the scandal exactly here?

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@Mora_Vtuber Bueno

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@ShitpostRock Fight the accusations all you want, you really are one of the four horsemen of stupid takes on this site

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@itslanabee More Booty to Cum

[Captain Shitpost @ShitpostCaptain]

@mtndwr I would gladly cure your hysteria the old fashioned way, ma'am. Feel free to DM me so that we may facilitate this at your convenience.

[Ewan Morrison @MrEwanMorrison]

Add one drop of sewage to a glass of water - you get a glass of sewage.

AI papers with hallucinated slop are contaminating scientific research & academia.