Shlongrs Bachur

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Good Shabbos Friends: A friend that your only communication with him is a "Good Shabbos" text once a week.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

*Evolution of the Purim Costume*
Boys: Soldier, Punk, Thrift Store, then Purim ties.
Girls: Kallah, Dyed hair, then pink sheitel.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Bachur running around really nervous because its Rosh Chodesh Adar already and he still doesn't have his costume.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

"Rebbe, why cant we talk to girls" - overweight socially off bachur who thinks the only reason he doesn't talk to girls is cause its assur.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

The person whos gonna get the most Oilam Habba ever is the inventor of instant coffee.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

@endimem_music Reb Zelig was the one who took a bite out of Apple's logo.
#RebZelig

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Using glasses sides as q tips.
#YeshivishInventions

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Using an iron to cook frozen pizza.
#YeshivishInventions

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Top 3 examples used by Rabbeim:
1. Bill Gates
2. Cheeseburgers
3. Nice piping hot steak

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

*In carpool*
Mother: Turns on Baruch Levine.
Son: Turns it off.
*cycle repeats until they get to school*

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

*in awkward situation*
*pulls out kosher phone and goes through contacts*

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

If not for Yeshiva Bochrim, Apple would've stopped making the Ipod Nano.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

@foreverrandom1 For some reason all the Bochrim are walking around humming Justin Timberlake songs today.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Nobody knows how or why, but #RebYossel gave the Halftime pump up speech in the Patriots locker room.

[Solomon tann @rytrieof3ogfj]

Im currently high on quack

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

High School Rebbe still laughing 20 minutes after his joke. " You want a super bowl? I'll give you a super bowl.....OF CHOLENT!"

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

"We will learn in between plays and during the halftime shmutz." Reb Shmuel Kamminetzky during his pre-Super Bowl speech.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Bochrim all over are getting ready to watch TV for the first time since last Super Bowl.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Bachur seen writing down all the rich people and all the thrift stores near lakewood in a notebook that says Purim on the cover.

[Shlongrs Bachur @Shlongers4Life]

Instead of calling it the #ShidduchCrisis they should call it the #ShidduchIces when everyone is in the Freezer.