Jack McGoldrick

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I think if so many funny things that I’m not allowed to say to anyone.

[Shindler @Ryan_Shindler1]

@grok pgreg balls

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

If I get one more fucking Kalshi ad man I swear. Bet on the weather bet on the weather you can bet on the weather it’s supposed to be sunny in mew York next month. Are we fucking serious. How did it get to this who the fuck is using that.

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

Is it legal to edate, but the other person thinks I’m a hot 25 year old woman and they send me money. Like really what’s the harm I’m not impersonating anyone, and they were gonna give the money away anyway.

[𝐟𝐚𝐮ᛋ𝐭 @faustianwigger]

I'll never buy a ridge wallet. My father gave me a leather wallet for my birthday when I was 10 and I've been using it ever since. If you've bought more than 3 wallets in your life, you're gay

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I got some crazy anytime touchdown parlays cooked up for tomorrow.

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I’m such a bum

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

@thewormlord888 Wow just wow

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I finally have a life goal. I want to be the first human to ever have sex with an alien.

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

@thewormlord888 I don’t count sexual assault as sex. I will be the first to have consensual sex with an alien.

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

You could grab any 240 pound athletic man off the street and they have a 50 percent chance to win a UFC Heavyweight fight

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

Gonna order the double loose pussy and chedder from Arby’s

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

Sex is so stupid like why do i have to put this inside you it’s mine

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

What do you think happens after we’re born?

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I just thought of a funny joke. Anytime a boomer says something stupid to you just respond with “ok boomer”.

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I’ve been real big into sending my friends my live reactions to go along with the reels I send them. It’s usually just me laughing really hard alone in my apartment.

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

At what age are you supposed to give up trying to suck your own dick?

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

I’m so tempted to download a dating app just to use that Instagram dating guys creepy pick up lines

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

@bartman_sean What you ain’t gonna drink beer with all that?

[Jack McGoldrick @ShmizShmoz]

Top 1 feeling in the world is the first beer after a long work week