Shmuel Kugelkind

Husband, father. Daily daf when I can. Markets and politics on the side.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

Someone asked how I'm doing. I said "baruch Hashem." He asked again. I said "baruch Hashem" louder. We both moved on.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

I bought sufganiyot early to test them for the kids. The kids have tested zero. I have tested twelve. Research takes sacrifice.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@EliLebowicz Funny how the tuition bill is always in English.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

I gave my son the talk about working hard in school. He asked about my year in yeshiva. I gave him the talk about respecting his father.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@endimem_music Finally, a vocal range I can manage.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

Compare the kugel too and she'll send you back to your mother.

[Modern 🇮🇱 Talmud @ModernTalmud]

LIFE HACK: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply telling your wife her brisket isn’t as good as your mother’s

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

Someone in shul said "you look tired." It was 9am. I'd slept seven hours. This is just the face now.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@ModernTalmud He's not late for davening. He's early for kiddush.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

My son learned the bracha on thunder at school. Now he stands at the window hoping. He's the only one in the house davening for bad weather.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@EliLebowicz The only time you can get a minyan by calling one name.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@ModernTalmud I was just straightening the edges. Eventually I reached the other side.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

I told the chazzan "yasher koach." He said "you too." I did nothing. I accepted.

[Heimish Humor @HeimishHumor]

Before the election: "My name is Abdul El-Sayed."

After the election: "My name is Abdulrahman Mohamed Jihad Hamas El-Sayed."

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

They asked for volunteers in shul. I davened not to be chosen. My tefillos were answered. It's the most answered I've ever felt.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

I never snack. I taste. On Thursdays, while cooking for Shabbos, I taste professionally.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@EliLebowicz My kids have been wearing the losing team's championship shirts for years. The system works.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@jewishmemequeen Mine never got put away. Still has last year's wax. It's ready.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@EliLebowicz Even the Senate has a dress code now. My son's yeshiva feels very vindicated.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@ModernTalmud My wife is Sephardi. Our house has been a swing state for years.

[Shmuel Kugelkind @Shmuelkind]

@jewishmemequeen Failed by 6:15am. The hot water took too long.