Tyler Schmitz

Keep your guard up. My wits are known to be sharp.

[Tyler Schmitz @ShmylesForMiles]

@michaelnyamira It'd take a miracle, but I believe.

[Tyler Schmitz @ShmylesForMiles]

@Bob_Or_Anne That's how you earned the like. Spotted it instantly.

[Tyler Schmitz @ShmylesForMiles]

@HT_Chomps @HTNotEasy I've already had at least 7.

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

I, Michael Richard Pence, do solemnly swear that I will never be as cool as Joe Biden and may be the most boring Vice President ever

[chuuch @ch000ch]

thanks

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

family: so.. are you.. dating anyone?

me, splitting open a 48-pack of hotdogs: these were on sale can you believe it

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

didn't you uh... didn't you run for president though lol

[Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov]

this version of super smash bros sucks ass

[quez @pancakesdawg]

Aye France you guys want this back? We don't need it anymore

[CNN Politics @CNNPolitics]

Van Jones: "This was a 'white-lash' against a changing country" https://t.co/fVi0JzyFOr #CNNElection #ElectionNight

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

dang it!!!! i cant remember if racism is actually good or bad and now i don't know who to vote for :(

[Late Night with Seth Meyers @LateNightSeth]

From tonight’s #ACloserLook: How could anyone choose between Trump and Clinton?

[chuuch @ch000ch]

chipotle employee: white or brown rice

frank underwood: (to camera) the rice is irrelevant. but for now i'll play his game.

[Thing Bad @Merman_Melville]

I've spent my whole adult life chasing the high of a scholastic book fair

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

Sorry NBC but a green backdrop is asking for trouble.

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

Do you ever get so drunk you just print out motivational words and hang them up on the wall. Apparently I did