Shocka Cohen

@geocachingfiend

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

I’ve moved benches three times in the past thirty minutes because I keep sitting down next to people who are being super ultra gross in distinct and unusual ways

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Tonight for dinner I’m having a little bite of everything

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

ACAB (A cop at birth)

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

I’m going to create a pajama brand called Ugly Tshirts That are Perfect for Bed

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

When someone is sitting up and “nodding off” and their head is actually going up and down I’m like ok that’s a little on the nose don’t u think

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Whoever is on aux in the bathroom you have GOT to send me that playlist

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Don’t bite the bird that eats you #proverbsforworms

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Don’t bite the mouth that feeds you #proverbsforbabybirds

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Doing that appreciative laugh that sounds like a garage band hi-hat at everything abby says cuz I’m too tired to do a real one

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

The entire world is in a run club together we’re all just going at different paces

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Starting a crowdfunding platform called “I’m Just Fine On My Own, Thanks” in response to Buy Me a Coffee where you can offer creators donations that they’ll have the option to publicly refuse proving to concerned fans, friends, and family that they’re actually doing really well

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

I could never get a tattoo because sometimes I unlike my depop likes from like a month ago just cuz I don’t want them on my profile anymore

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

I used to think “adult diapers” was just what adults called their underwear when they were trying to be funny

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

I have a tooth stuck between my teeth

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

I don’t sleep when I dream I just try to live in the moment

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Damson Madder makes uniforms for uptight clowns

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Everyone I used to know is a graphic designer now

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Can’t wait until the reelies (Oscar’s/Emmys but for reels) exist and the award for best screenplay goes to a ss of someone’s notes app that just says “prank idea: convince people at cvs that a sweet old lady in the store is stalking me”

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

Having to swallow a piece of gum on purpose feels like going off the high dive

[Shocka Cohen @ShockaCohen]

The devil works hard but his horse works harder