Shola Ameobi

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Let 2014 commence: the year I win the golden boot at the World Cup. BELIEVE.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Enjoy 2014s fixtures , but don't take them too seriously , it's just a game, a really mint game

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Happy new year you bunch of beautiful black and white rejects , I know I'm not that good , but neither are you lot

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Reet , just sorting me socks out, on a gan , I'll sort it divent worry x

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

I honestly do not have a clue who is in that Chewbacca costume as well. He wasn't with us at the start.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

I am fucking gutted that my Brokeback Mountain shared costume idea with Cabaye was not reciprocated.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Aye.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Just well, y'kna

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Eeeeeh, well.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Not to mention the money I'm pumping into the local economy via the candlestick makers, very trendy place in Jesmond.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Been pulling that one since 2002, and it has aided my career as a professional footballer to no ends.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Never, EVER, underestimate the effect buying some one a nice pair of candle sticks can have when they're first moving into the area.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Nice mention of me in the post match interview with Pardew today, the man has been nothing but good to me.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Have you ever seen danish porn? Its on another level. But if any pervert is fit for the job, its Peter.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

And before you all start, Lovenkrands is packing the biggest package. A long and succesful porn career lies ahead of that man.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

The combined cock length of Newcastles strike force will surely be staggering now like, truly amazing

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Jesus christ, driving around looking for Besty. He's gone missing after finding out Cisse was here.

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Important thing to remember is we've got the points now to ride stuff like this out, try new things etc

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

Mean while our chosen cb for the game arrived in a onesie and tried to sell me his app, dark days my friends , dark days ..

[Shola Ameobi @Sholameobi]

I wish Kadar was starting at cb tbh, he has a steely glare that says "I've committed war crimes", mad shit tattooed on his chest as well