ShombyLongBeak

I have a thing for gingers #cheeselife

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

Hey guys, still here. Since we last talked I’ve lost 12 lbs, but sadly not allowed within 100 feet of Immanuel Lutheran students grades 3-6. Good news though, dodged the draft again by claiming mental health problems. Doctors think it’s linked to my lack of prospects. #blueballed

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

After a 4 month Hiatus, I’ve decided to officially retire from groping the Landing waitresses and stealing their tips. Instead, I’m going full seal team six by joining the military. I’ve been told I’m a half-deaf unicorn that would work great with explosives... #gimmetheteargas

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

I’m really bouta march my happy ass into Franklins and ask this bitch to refill my water 17 times. #newyear #sofree

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

Recently turned down a scholarship offer to rip piss rockets like this at East Central College. Fuck that action. With this swing I’m on track to be the 2021 Masters champion #touriscalling #MakePuttsBangSluts

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

Nothing better than sticking my grubby paws elbow deep in a bag of Doritos and fingering my PlayStation controller for hours on end #noteasybeingcheesy

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

I don’t know what’s more impressive: my shotty time or successfully fitting my dumpy in these new yoga pants #downwarddog

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

#NewProfilePic

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

Anyone else seen the Margot Robbie scene from the wolf of wall street?

[ShombyLongBeak @ShombyB]

Came off a double shift bendy at Marquart’s landing. Rallied with a quick Mike’s Harder shotty and rocked out with my cock out #DoChoresSlamFours