Dan's Shower Thoughts

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Carbonara is just spicy Mac and cheese

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Did you know, if the earth was a hollow shell with all it mass located evenly around the crust, you would float weightlessly inside? Anyways, the earths not flat, but it ain’t a solid mass like y’all think it is.

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Their inability to come back from the corner store with milk and cigarettes is the only commonality between a boomerang and my dad, at least one comes back at all…

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

I hate France but damn that short guy made the best ice cream flavor

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Is there such a thing as leap month in the lunar calendar?

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

I’m sure I got the Rona at some point because I now enjoy IPAs, which I regarded as grassy and copper-y. I mean it’s proof I’ve most certainly lost my sense of taste

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Freestyle scratch lo if is the most underrated genre out there

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

I met an angry German gamer gnome. I call him Rumpel Tilt-skin

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Oh sure, some random at Stanford call their project Shakey the Robot and they get some prizes, but when I do that the Parkinson’s clinic and I get arrested for trespassing and emotional damages

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Jet packs mounted on your back, a la sarlacc bait, while cool are impractical due to the fact that the thrust vector is not inline with the center of mass, resulting in a torque that would send the user into a hungry hungry sand pit regardless of a blind Ford

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

The very thought of vegetables in desert infuriates me. What is even more upsetting is my undying love for carrot cake.

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Aging is the result of a game of biological telephone. Old cells tell new cells where they should be and how they should behave, but over time, new cells are places their predecessors weren’t, not doing their predecessors were.

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Fun fact: the term “robot” comes from the Czech word for “serf labor”. As a wage cuck, I would like to remind people that calling me a “bot” because I’m bad at video games is a slur and hurts my feelings.

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Speed bumps are Braille for car. It means “slow down.”

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

One would think a marshmallow is an herbaceous plant grown in a swamp, but no. It’s a puffed up cylinder of diabetes and campfire happiness

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

People always ascribe Shakespeare’s works with the same posh RP when in reality the local dialect/accent would have invariably changed between the debut of KHVI and his death in 1616. I mean he alone is credited for introducing 1700 new words, including “alligator and “critic.”

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

One of the great philosophical conundrums asks what it means to be human. To which Ludwig Andreas Feuerbach proclaimed “You are what you eat.” Dr Lector may have taken it too literally

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

I wonder if ancient Egyptians or Babylonians knew they were once hunter gatherer nomadic tribes, or if they assumed that humans had always lived in towns and cities

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

Privateers are the worst kind of pirates: sell-out shills

[Dan's Shower Thoughts @ShowerCursed]

My biggest sin is cranking the AC then crawling under my electric blankets. It’s just so comfy idky