Vigney Shukla

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

We hired a new VP of Engineering who is obsessed with agile methodology.

He called a meeting on his first day and said we need to transition to 2-week development sprints.

He wanted daily stand-ups, retrospective boards, and continuous deployment pipelines.

He wanted us to actually write new code.

I realized immediately that he was an existential threat to my lifestyle.

I let him finish his impassioned speech about workflow velocity.

Then I stood up, walked to the whiteboard, and drew a single horizontal line.

I told him agile sprints are a localized solution for a localized mindset.

I said our infrastructure operates on a Zenith Release Cycle.

He asked what a Zenith Release Cycle was.

I told him it's a holistic, macro-stabilization framework where we observe the system in a state of prolonged stasis.

By not touching the code for 18 months, we allow the legacy dependencies to organically settle.

I told him that deploying bi-weekly updates creates micro-abrasions in our database architecture.

I used the phrase chronological data scarring.

The CEO was in the room and audibly gasped.

He told the new VP that we can't risk chronological data scarring just to satisfy a trendy tech buzzword.

The VP looked at me like I'd just invented a new color.

He was completely paralyzed by the sheer density of my fabricated jargon.

He quietly agreed to adopt the Zenith Release Cycle.

We're officially scheduled to deploy our next update in the third quarter of 2027.

I spent the rest of the afternoon buying things I don't need on Amazon.

Agile is a disease invented by people who want to be punished for their salary.

I refuse to participate in my own suffering.

[Vigney Shukla @ShuklaVigney]

@zainhumane @tehseenp @nitin_gadkari If everything is fine as per your argument then why OEMs came up with E20 compliant cars and they don't recommend ethanol blended fuel as per their user manuals

[ηᎥ†Ꭵղ @nkk_123]

Not everyone can lie so bluntly. My respect for Tata Motors and Mahindra has increased exponentially. The rest, except Honda, are fucking liars who bowed to the establishment. History will remember them as cowards.

[EngiNerd. @mainbhiengineer]

If E10 vehicle can run on E20 fuel without any problem then what's the purpose of making E20 complaint vehicle after 2023?

Did Maruti stop hiring MBA for their executive roles? Because this man sounds like someone who never solved any logical reasoning questions during CAT.

[Alpakanya @Alpakanya]

Most awaited blistering review of Alpha movie by KRK dropped 😂🔥

[Ajeet Bharti @ajeetbharti]

मटकी और झाड़ू का एट्रोसिटी पोर्न बेचने की चेष्टा हुई, और उसे वहीं निर्ममता से मैंने मसल दिया।

[Agent Pink @yedwise]

"Ethanol improves acceleration, used in racing cars too"

67 BHP Alto and 88 BHP Wagon R owners after filling up with ethanol-blended race fuel on Indian roads:

[Vigney Shukla @ShuklaVigney]

@Ka_Ka_Chi_Chi @_kumbhkaran True!

[Pavel Durov @durov]

India’s IT ministry banned Telegram for one week because some users shared leaked exam questions.

This punishes 150M+ ordinary Telegram users in India — not the insiders who leaked the exam materials.

And the ban hasn't stopped anything. The leaks just moved to other apps.

[Alpha Defense™🇮🇳 @alpha_defense]

As a kid I read a chacha Chaudhry story
It said :
A thief was caught and given a choice:
Either eat 100 onions or receive 100 shoe-beatings (sau jute).

Thinking onions are easier, he starts eating them. After a few onions, the burning becomes unbearable, so he switches to shoe-beatings.

After a few shoe-beatings, he finds those even worse and switches back to onions.

He keeps changing his mind until, in the end, he has eaten all 100 onions and received all 100 shoe-beatings.

Moral : Failure to commit to a difficult choice makes things worse.

[` @chixxsays]

We all want Dharmendra Pradhan to resign, but we don’t support clout chasers like Abhijeet Dipke

Retweet if you agree !!

[AIN @Tejusurya_]

Capital Gains Tax set to be removed for foreign investors.

Meanwhile, Deshbhakt me continues to pay 30% Income Tax, 28% GST, and 20% Capital Gains Tax to help fund more Ladli Behna Yojanas.

[Komal Kumar Gupta (Vipul) @ImkomalKGupta]

I voted for this government three times.

Today, I am ashamed of that decision.

They are unaccountable, incompetent, and deeply compromised.

Accountability cannot stop at statements and transfers.

Resignations must be on the table:

• Narendra Modi
• Amit Shah
• Dharmendra Pradhan
• Nirmala Sitharaman
• Kiren Rijiju

And these must be sacked, not transferred:
• CBSE Chairman Rahul Singh
• CBSE Secretary Himanshu Gupta
• NTA Chairman Pradeep Kumar Joshi

India deserves a forensic, independent investigation into each cabinet minister and their makers.
No cover-ups. No scapegoats. No transfers.

Accountability.

[Thor Odinson @thorodinson07]

माननीय नितिन गडकरी जी पर टिप्पणी करने वालों की कड़ी निंदा करता हूँ। 🙏

राजनीति में प्रश्न पूछना और आलोचना करना हमारी संस्कृति नहीं है।

[LearningTheLaw ✝️ @Mangalawyer]

Sleeping Dogs Open World Combat Mechanics - 2012 vs. the "Cinematic" 007 First Light (2026)

14 years gap between the two games.

[Vigney Shukla @ShuklaVigney]

@drnishurs @KuddoosExpress @DrAditya2935 Tax should be there same as other industries , small scale farmers can be excluded and given incentives schemes but the big farmers should be tax similar as other industries

[Vigney Shukla @ShuklaVigney]

@KuddoosExpress @DrAditya2935 So you are saying other sources of income is easy and comes without hardwork? every profession has it's own challenges but government has given special privileges to these farmers like subsidized fertilizer, equipment and loan waivers,MSP,tax etc at the expense of tax payers

[Vigney Shukla @ShuklaVigney]

@ShivrattanDhil1 Farmers are the most subsidized in our country they get subsidised fertilizer, equipment, and intrest free loan ans what not ,most of the times their loan gets waiwed off, all of these on the expense of average tax payes. enough of these 'annadata' propoganda

[Sunderdeep - Volklub @volklub]

To keep my protein intake costs in check, I have decided to blend 30% of ‘Fena’ powder in my Whey.

Chapra University studies have shown that it is edible. Fena provides quick energy and good for digestion. Once this works, I will replace my Whey with Fena itself.

Will tell my gym mates, “Fena hi Lena” #sarcasm

[🍁 @immgkj_]

- 60-80% reservation.
- Cheating in exam hall.
- Paper leak.
If a general caste person still managing to get an admission in a college or a job then he is literally fighting the Gods, the Republic and millions of biomass to make a life for himself.l and his family.