ShwaggyP

I have a substantial amount of doge, you could say I’m a seasoned investor

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

#LoveIsland

Ovie: have you ever watched Training Day?

India: nope

Ovie:

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Me the second #doge licks a dollar

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Girls gotta do a single fuckin crunch to be a fitness chick.

Meanwhile, if a guy doesn’t look like prime Arnold Baconator or whatever the fuck his name was, we have a dad bod

#r

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

If you ain’t had some ass in over a year and you still usin yo hand you gay now my guy

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

@GriffyMood Doge just paid my car note

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

If you don’t get the COVID vaccine for whatever reason you are now an Anti-Vaxxer and as such will be treated and clowned in like one

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

I like girls who take ass pictures like they got one but they don’t...money can buy your girl an ass but not that kind of confidence

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Next time a Christian references the Bible to protest planned parenthood and promote abstinence remind them of Genesis 1:1 where Adam blows out Eve’s back

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

yo you CANNOT be eating CoCoPuffs™️ after the age of 23...that shits childish

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

I wish I did drugs so I could try my hand at rapping

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

She’s got a septum piercing bro, move on

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

That’s two gold stars for you king

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Today is #NationalBoyfriendDay and tomorrow is #NationalTacoDay reinforcing the fact that even though a boyfriend may not last...tacos will always be there the next day

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

@imlowkeycool @keeliereagan @baileymcgrath17

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Life hack:

Say “cuff me daddy” when you’re getting arrested and there’s a 50-50 chance he’ll let you go.

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Now I know what @ScuderiaFerrari fans felt like before the break. Still...P2 is in’s tricking distance. Let’s go @MercedesAMGF1 @LewisHamilton

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

If you’re on the left you’re an anarchist with no respect for anything

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

@thenoelmiller Hell yea

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Yo I hope the U.S. Marshalls have a safe house with a studio cuz #6ix9ine gotta start working on his second album..WITSEC

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

Bitch that’s a skeleton

[ShwaggyP @Shwaggy_P]

I wonder what that happened in that 1 dentists life to make him so untrusting of oral hygiene products