Semenza

Feline Father

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

White walkers rolling up on Bran like. #GameOfThrones

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Nothing makes me feel more empowered than showing my Costco membership card at the entrance

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I miss my females who have anger issues.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

My ex ruined my attraction to people who are unstable. Now I’m into people who have it together. The fuck is wrong with me?

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Just opened the stall on someone shitting. My bad for ruining your day bro.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I hope everyone has a beautiful day.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Weird how none of my exes wished me a happy birthday.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I write a ton of diets and workouts for people. So I am used to people just sending me pictures or videos and asking where they need work. A girl just sent me one and I told her everywhere that needs work. Her reply, “I was trying to flirt you fucking asshole.”

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Let’s get freaky in the back of my 2017 Jetta 🥵

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

If you use A.1. Steak Sauce you need leave.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Bitches justify the drugs, alcohol, and STDs they put in their body by shopping at Trader Joe’s.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I have no idea how someone can sleep with someone in a relationship. You don’t see me using someone else’s flesh light or dildo.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

You look like a single mother of two with an eating disorder about to relapse.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I want my funeral to be a roast.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

No you don’t.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I need therapy.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I need therapy.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

@liz_harding000 @nickvitanovec Has he said this before

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I high five after intercourse. #GoTeam

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Life. It’s salubrious.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

Because I never had that shit.

[Semenza @SichaelMemenza]

I’ve lost 5 phones, a couple relationships and a lot of money in my time in college. But I never lost my dignity.