Bndit_Twit

I do things sometimes
—
Adobe Certified Dumbass

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

im twit

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

"if not egg, why egg shaped?" i shout, as the museum security drags me and my skillet away from the ancient human skull

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

Driving into the walmart pharmacy to ask for blinker fluid (eye drops)

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

Give a bee a flower, she is fed for a day
Teach a bee to flour, she is bread for life

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

hey google how many tasty multivitamin gummies can i have

hey google what is the maximum amount of tasty multivitamin gummies

hey google is it safe to eat the whole bottle of multivitamin gummies

hey google what happens if i eat all the multivitamin gummies

hey goog

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

i only PU because i STINK

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

we let plants get away with too much, i think

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

guy who thinks sweet potatoes imply the existence of sour potatoes

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

They named that shit Epic Furry?

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Operation Epic Fury 🇺🇸

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

obsessed with youtube channels who made 1-3 uploads in 2009

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

I keep many strong political statements in my drafts because this account is supposed to be the public face of my escapism.

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

wizard car guy: "how many horse's powers"

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

noticing how every time im up past 2 AM, i grow a strong need for corndogs

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

"boys trust their pals to back them up more than do girls their chums" — frances gloria bibb, 1950

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

they should have the pink cows make strawberry butter i think that's a marketable idea

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

@TeaComfy Gotta stay on top of peak, what can i say

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

someone once said something bad about a man thinking all the time and thats why i think none of the time

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

ive unlocked the secret 24th flavor of dr pepper

[Bndit_Twit @SigmaBandit]

@ScoopittyWoop @dashdare135401 @Mufc_Dio @MikeyMacDee @ohhsotheysay