Have you ever wanted to tell your parents that their poor parenting caused deep emotional trauma, affecting your ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood… but you held back because you realized they lack the intellectual ability and
Exactly why I can't be in calls with more than 2 people (excluding me). If everyone is actively talking I always end up feeling like I don't exist anymore
“you should talk more”
me: actually tries to talk
- gets ignored
- gets interrupted
- gets talked over
- nobody pays attention
- nobody cares
then y’all wonder why I became quiet. Sometimes people don’t hate talking, they just hate feeling like nobody wants to listen.
every time im reminded that all of my closest friends have someone they care about more than me i have to fight off the urge to cut everyone off,,, and i thought it would get better with age but its not
im fully convinced i was put on this earth to show others how they deserve to be treated while i continuously get to feel like an option in peoples lives
I just want to be happy.. but clearly that's too much to ask for.. life doesn't want me to be happy, and I know that because the moment I am happy for even a minute, something happens that pulls me even deeper into the void.
like 2 weeks ago I was going to apply to something to get up to 1.5k in coupons for therapy, but I couldn't apply to it because I need to get everyone in the household to authenticate and agree on it...
I haven't applied yet, and don't know when or if I will...
I don't want to live anymore, and every day I'm hoping to die or to finally break enough to not even care about leaving a corpse in the same house as my 10 year old sister and traumatize her..
I'm tired of feeling hopeless, and lonely, and like I don't matter to anyone.