Luke

Rock-it scientist

[Pokemon FansHub @pokemon_fanss]

Using every move in Pokémon Emerald simultaneously

[neekolas @sonicBIGFIST]

me: yeah man i’m telling you, they’ve got everlasting affection off the left blastzone of yoshi’s story

lovestruck fools:

[まだ面白い @madaomoshiroi]

脱皮中のヤモリを手伝う飼い主、ここまで膨らむ様子は初めて見た

[Philly Sports Sufferer @mccrystal_alex]

The Mets gave up a devastating 3 run homer and the broadcast cuts to Norwegian fans having the time of their life and dancing

LOLMETS

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Amy Walter @amyewalter]

He may have tiny legs, but he’s got major big dog energy here.

[✮ راينر براون @dondawastaken]

Never forget that you are the main data center. Drink water, and consume as much literature as possible.

[jj @CARBIKE000]

Asked my mom why i stopped martial arts when i was a kid and she said she saw “a great darkness in my eyes”

[Lauren Bonner @laurenybonner]

At the shops: I mustn’t buy a little chocolate treat
When I get home: I wish I had a little chocolate treat

[Toph @toph_bbq]

Dynasty Warriors clone where you play as 2007 M2K cutting through swarms of 2020 mid-level spacies sent back in time with their current melee skill level, which does not grow or change at all

[Dave @Kira_SSBM]

ATTENTION MALES: If a girl keeps holding down she OBVIOUSLY doesn't want to talk, check your patriarchal privilege

[bill wurtz @billwurtz]

[ad in jail]
like being in jail?
great news, you already are