The Fucking Lizard King

My first wife was ‘tarded. She’s a pilot now.

[Nursekate @Nursekatejohn]

I don’t know a single Millennial who believes they will get SS. We understand we are working to pay the for cruises and second homes of generations who have no intentions to leave anything for us .

[Corporate Dudes @corporatedudes]

The generation that ruined everything wants our help🤔

[Alexander Augustine @WurzelRoot]

its so crazy as the greatest generation has died off and now boomers are grandparents we seen the ending of the "kind old matron" grandma stereotype that is essentially a domestic goddess who is kind and firm, replaced by this new vile batshit kronism ex-hippy whore archetype

[Duuguu @ArtDuggy]

i thought you were being sarcastic what do you mean thats literally the quote

[Bussin' With The Boys @BussinWTB]

WE JUST KICKED YOUR F****** A**

[big content guy @bigcontentguy]

tom brady with the most divorced dad insta story of all time

[Coach Phil @coachphilwest0n]

Just figured out you can schedule texts. Gonna do this to my buddys every day now. Mind games

[Gator Jay @stupiddretard]

We’ve noticed your son has just been super chill and making all the fellas laugh in the classroom, gonna need to do something about this, ever heard of Vyvanse?

[Joe Viray @JoeVirayNBA]

1. Implying that your audience is too poor to watch your product instead of pledging to find affordable solutions <<<<<<

2. This also kind of shines a light on how the NBA’s been covered by mainstream media nowadays.

[૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა @CBD42O]

every day we inch closer to "protein vape" being real. i know someone out there is in the lab giving rats a new type of cancer trying to figure it out

[Andy Milonakis @andymilonakis]

Celebrating a man’s death because you didn’t like his views is some real mentally insane shit

[Buc Nasty @ReloadedJu]

People really just be out here bein whatever dawg, why the fuck are you a white lesbian Muslim cop like you know you not posed to be doin all that

[vids that go hard @vidsthatgohard]

This is some shit that would happen in The Office 😭

[Democrats @TheDemocrats]

We think the Cracker Barrel rebrand sucks too

[saila (he/him) @sailaunderscore]

I’ve waited 5 years to say this out of respect, but if you fell for this shit you’re kind of a fucking retard.

[The Fucking Lizard King @SilkyPastor]

@paramountplus your app fucking sucks

[Brian Gaar @briangaar]

Ozzy AND Hulk Hogan, this is 9/11 if you grew up in a town with one Dairy Queen

[jxke. 🧸🎰🃏 @cantguardjake]

“You can always spot Americans in foreign countries”

Yeah man you blend right in at Yellowstone with your child’s medium Armani Exchange shirt, skin tight capri length jorts, and Pumas