Simon Heaton

Director of Growth & Product Marketing at @buffer | Formerly Shopify | Lover of music, video games, SaaS growth and marketing

[Martin Konrad Gloeckle @martin_konrad]

Today here at https://t.co/8L8WF4mEIr we just crossed $20 million in Annual Recurring Revenue (ARR). For the second time.

A huge accomplishment!

[Joel Gascoigne @joelgascoigne]

Something you may not know about Buffer:

We've raised just $4M in total funding over our almost 14-year journey, and generated over $170M in total lifetime revenue. Our last round was almost a decade ago in 2014.

For 8 of our 13 years, we’ve been profitable. And since 2017, we have bought back 21.2% of fully diluted shares.

Despite being in a phase of decline the past few years, we entered that period with a very strong bank balance of over $6M. We did not have to carry out any layoffs, throughout the pandemic or when they were very prevalent in 2022/23.

Not only that, we have been able to continue buying back stock from folks who were seeking liquidity. In 2023, we carried out three stock repurchases, at a collective cost of $889K. Buying back stock during a period of decline has set us up to be in a strong position.

This year, we're back to growth and profitability. We're fast approaching $19M in ARR and it feels like there's a ton of opportunity in our space right now. I enjoy operating with the flexibility to go our own unique path and really build something meaningful for customers and the team.

As with life, there are seasons to a company. I love that we've created a company where we can embrace the various seasons of our industry and business, rather than turn everything upside down after one tough quarter.

[Buffer @buffer]

Long-form posts are now available in Buffer! 🎉

To celebrate, here is the first third of the 2001 film Shrek starring Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy … because we can:

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1: Think it's in there?

MAN2: All right. Let's get it!

MAN1: Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

MAN3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK: Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

MEN: No!

SHREK: They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

MAN1: Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.

SHREK: This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." (He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gepetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.

GUARD: All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

HEAD GUARD: Next!

GUARD: (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)

HEAD GUARD: That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

GUARD: Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD: Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR: (crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY: Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN: Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY: Oh!

HEAD GUARD: Next! What have you got?

GEPETTO: This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)

HEAD GUARD: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

PINOCCHIO: Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!

Gepetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.

HEAD GUARD: Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN: Well, I've got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD: Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN: Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD: Well?

OLD WOMAN: Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

HEAD GUARD: That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

OLD WOMAN: No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD: Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN: No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

DONKEY: Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN: He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS: He can fly!

HEAD GUARD: He can talk!

DONKEY: Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD: Seize him! (Donkey takes off running.) After him!

GUARDS: He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD: You there. Ogre!

SHREK: Aye?

HEAD GUARD: By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.

SHREK: Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY: Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!

SHREK: Are you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY: Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.

SHREK: Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY: Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY: But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.

DONKEY: Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.

SHREK: Why are you following me?

DONKEY: I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith...

SHREK: Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.

DONKEY: Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

SHREK: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

DONKEY: (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really tall?

SHREK: No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you?

DONKEY: Nope.

SHREK: Really?

DONKEY: Really, really.

SHREK: Oh.

DONKEY: Man, I like you. What's you name?

SHREK: Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY: Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that?

SHREK: That would be my home.

DONKEY: Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don't entertain much, do you?

SHREK: I like my privacy.

DONKEY: You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You're trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?

SHREK: Uh, what?

DONKEY: Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK: (sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY: Really?

SHREK: No.

DONKEY: Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

SHREK: Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY: Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)

SHREK: What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No!

DONKEY: This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

SHREK: Oh!

DONKEY: Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK: (irritated) Outside!

DONKEY: Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me...

SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT

Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a noise. He stands up with a huff.

SHREK: (to Donkey) I thought I told you to stay outside.

DONKEY: (from the window) I am outside.

There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

BLIND MOUSE1: Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?

BLIND MOUSE2: It's not home, but it'll do just fine.

GORDO: (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.

SHREK: Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes and lands on his shoulder.)

GORDO: I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's ear)

SHREK: Ow!

GORDO: Blah! Awful stuff.

BLIND MOUSE1: Is that you, Gordo?

GORDO: How did you know?

SHREK: Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are you doing in my house? (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.

DWARF: Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.

SHREK: Huh?

Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at him.

BIG BAD WOLF: What?

TIME LAPSE

Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door.

SHREK: I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy? (He opens the front door to throw the Wolf out and he sees that all the collected Fairy Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh, no. No! No!

The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.

SHREK: What are you doing in my swamp? (this echoes and everyone falls silent.)

Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a tent.

SHREK: All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more dwarves run inside the house) No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. (they shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to look at Donkey)

DONKEY: Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.

PINOCCHIO: Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

SHREK: What?

PINOCCHIO: We were forced to come here.

SHREK: (flabbergasted) By who?

LITTLE PIG: Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he...signed an eviction notice.

SHREK: (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?

Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

DONKEY: Oh, I do. I know where he is.

SHREK: Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?

DONKEY: Me! Me!

SHREK: Anyone?

DONKEY: Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!

SHREK: (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! (Pause. Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey) You! You're comin' with me.

DONKEY: All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!

DONKEY: (singing) On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get on the road again.

SHREK: What did I say about singing?

DONKEY: Can I whistle?

SHREK: No.

DONKEY: Can I hum it?

SHREK
All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

DULOC - KITCHEN

A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.

FARQUAAD: That's enough. He's ready to talk.

The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the table. However, when he reaches the table, we see that it goes up to his eyes. He clears his throat, and the table is lowered.

FARQUAAD: (he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs and plays with them) Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man.

GINGERBREAD MAN: You are a monster.

FARQUAAD: I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?

GINGERBREAD MAN: Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's eye.)

FARQUAAD: I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll... (he makes as if to pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)

GINGERBREAD MAN: No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.

FARQUAAD: All right then. Who's hiding them?

GINGERBREAD MAN: Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?

FARQUAAD: The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN: The muffin man.

FARQUAAD: Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?

GINGERBREAD MAN: Well, she's married to the muffin man.

FARQUAAD: The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN: The muffin man!

FARQUAAD: She's married to the muffin man.

The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.

HEAD GUARD: My lord! We found it.

FARQUAAD: Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet. They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic Mirror.

GINGERBREAD MAN: (in awe) Ohhhh...

FARQUAAD: Magic mirror...

GINGERBREAD MAN: Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks him up and dumps him into a trash can with a lid.) No!

FARQUAAD: Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

MIRROR: Well, technically you're not a king.

FARQUAAD: Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a hand mirror and smashes it with his fist.) You were saying?

MIRROR: What I mean is you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.

FARQUAAD: Go on.

MIRROR: (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. (shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows picture of Snow White) And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows picture of Princess Fiona) So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two, or bachelorette number three?

GUARDS: Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!

FARQUAAD: Three? One? Three?

THELONIUS: Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number three, my lord!

FARQUAAD: Okay, okay, uh, number three!

MIRROR: Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.

FARQUAAD: Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...

MIRROR: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.

FARQUAAD: I'll do it.

MIRROR: Yes, but after sunset...

FARQUAAD: Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. (smiles evilly)

DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section

Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high.

DONKEY: But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it.

SHREK: So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.

DONKEY: Uh-huh. That's the place.

SHREK: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? (He laughs, but then groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke. He continues walking through the parking lot.)

DONKEY: Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.

MAN: Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.

SHREK: Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad, screams and begins running through the rows of rope to get to the front gate to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - (He sighs and then begins walking straight through the rows. The attendant runs into a wall and falls down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then continue on into DuLoc.)

DULOC

They look around, but all is quiet.

SHREK: It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?

DONKEY: Hey, look at this!

Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors open up. There are little wooden people inside, and they begin to sing.

WOODEN PEOPLE: Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town

Here we have some rules

Let us lay them down

Don't make waves, stay in line

And we'll get along fine

DuLoc is a perfect place

Please keep off of the grass

Shine your shoes, wipe your... face

DuLoc is, DuLoc is

DuLoc is a perfect place.

Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture.

DONKEY: Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready to run over and pull the lever again)

SHREK: (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still) No. No. No, no, no! No.

They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.

FARQUAAD: Brave knights. You are the best and brightest in all the land. Today one of you shall prove himself...

As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena, Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song.

SHREK: All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.

DONKEY: Sorry about that.

FARQUAAD: That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. (cheers) Let the tournament begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is that? It's hideous!

SHREK: (turns to look at Donkey and then back at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.

FARQUAAD: Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him!

MEN: Get him!

SHREK: Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps into a table where there are mugs of beer)

CROWD: Go ahead! Get him!

SHREK: (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just settle this over a pint?

CROWD: Kill the beast!

SHREK: No? All right then. (drinks the beer) Come on!

He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out, drenching the other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped. As Shrek begins to fight, Donkey hops up onto one of the larger beer barrels. It breaks free of its ropes and begins to roll. Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice it to say that Shrek kicks butt.

DONKEY: Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!

Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkey's. Shrek gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd.

SHREK: Yeah!

A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time and sees him.

WOMAN: The chair! Give him the chair!

Shrek smashes a chair over the guy's back. Finally, all the men are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild.

SHREK: Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs)

The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on Shrek.

HEAD GUARD: Shall I give the order, sir?

FARQUAAD: No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!

SHREK: What?

FARQUAAD: Congratulations, ogre. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest.

SHREK: Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.

FARQUAAD: Your swamp?

SHREK: Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures!

FARQUAAD: Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back.

SHREK: Exactly the way it was?

FARQUAAD: Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.

SHREK: And the squatters?

FARQUAAD: As good as gone.

SHREK: What kind of quest?

Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.

DONKEY: Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?

SHREK: You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.

DONKEY: I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.

SHREK: Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen, and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?

DONKEY: Uh, no, not really, no.

SHREK: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.

DONKEY: Example?

SHREK: Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions. (he holds out his onion)

DONKEY: (sniffs the onion) They stink?

SHREK: Yes - - No!

DONKEY: They make you cry?

SHREK: No!

DONKEY: You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.

SHREK: No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. (he heaves a sigh and then walks off)

DONKEY: (trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

SHREK: I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes.

DONKEY: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.

SHREK: No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.

DONKEY: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

SHREK: You know, I think I preferred your humming.

DONKEY: Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering.

They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem, so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out.

DRAGON'S KEEP

Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano.

DONKEY: (sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything.

SHREK: Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We must be getting close.

DONKEY: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither.

They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There is a small piece of rock right in the center, and that is where the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very foreboding.

SHREK: Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. (laughs...then the laugh turns into a groan)

DONKEY: Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers?

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So the next time you’re trying to come up with what to post, let the AI Assistant write for you! 💙 https://t.co/R67tg21c0S

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

Learn how to achieve big outcomes on a small marketing budget at my upcoming webinar with @Superside. The session will be great for any SaaS teams bootstrapping their performance marketing efforts.

Reserve your spot today! #PerformanceMarketing #growth

https://t.co/WAA5VQcpeq

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

Looking forward to this one! I'll be sharing real examples and tips you can use in your programs with limited budget!

[Superside @SupersideHQ]

It's that time of year... back to "routine", which means back to our routine of bringing you monthly, thought-provoking Gather & Grow sessions! 💡

This month, we're excited to discuss how to master paid channels on a budget, with Simon Heaton, Director of Growth and Product Marketing at @buffer!

We know that ad space and attention have never been more expensive... so, we're going to cover everything from budget allocation and creative testing to the role of paid at different stages of company growth! 📈🚀

Join us on September 27th, starting at 12pm ET / 9am PT for this engaging session! 🗓️

RSVP: https://t.co/hECNKxfXss

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

@buffer Collaborators rejoice! Notes are now live for all users in @buffer

[Buffer @buffer]

You can now attach notes to content inside of Buffer! 📝

Maybe you need to add a link or an image that isn’t ready yet? Review the copy? or discuss your content with your team? Add a Note — and your future self will thank you! ✨🙏

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

I’m using Buffer to grow an engaged audience on social and beyond. Give it a try and create your free (forever) account today: https://t.co/vbhD0ZH798

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

Who loves short, shorts? We love #YouTube Shorts!

[Buffer @buffer]

What can we say? We just really love shorts, so we had to add YouTube Shorts scheduling to Buffer! 🩳

Start scheduling your videos now: https://t.co/SecDpzIxEY

[Buffer @buffer]

What can we say? We just really love shorts, so we had to add YouTube Shorts scheduling to Buffer! 🩳

Start scheduling your videos now: https://t.co/SecDpzIxEY

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

Writers - this one's for you. Come join our incredible Marketing team @buffer

[Hailley Griffis @hailleymari]

Currently hiring a Content Writer to join @buffer's Marketing team 😊

Publish high-quality content
Contribute to the editorial strategy
Conduct interviews

Salary: $95,466 - $134,773 USD
+ Fully remote
+ Four-day work week

Apply below:

https://t.co/TMu061ZuSt

[Buffer @buffer]

We struggled to come up with a caption for this and probably should have just used AI to help us…and now we can with Buffer’s AI Assistant!

Available now on ALL Buffer plans - and yes, that includes the Free plan. 🤗

Get started now: https://t.co/R67tg21c0S

[Buffer @buffer]

We’re hiring!

We're looking for a Marketing UX Designer to join our fully remote and mission-driven team to grow Buffer’s brand awareness and user acquisition strategy through visual design and UX.

You can apply here: https://t.co/jzkv7rtIhh

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

The future of social is changing... let's get tooting!

[Buffer @buffer]

Why we’re adding Mastodon to Buffer:

🦣 Our community has been asking for it
🦣 Heavily aligns with our mission
🦣 We have a chance to be one of the first to support it
🦣 It expands our potential user base
🦣 Opportunity for one person to connect many accounts

Coming soon!

[Hailley Griffis @hailleymari]

Starting to write @buffer's 2023 State of Remote Work and we have so much data!

So I'd love to hear: What do you most want to know about working remotely in 2023?

Really looking forward to sharing this report in a few weeks ✨

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

@ajmedick Right now, just through the desktop. However, you can reschedule and view threads in the app. Full composing on mobile coming soon 🧵

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

At long last... a Twitter thread....

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

@buffer What a great way to start my Wednesday 😄

[Simon Heaton @SimonHeats]

straight from the @buffer admin!