S📍mon 🅿inkerton

Fiction and humour writer. In many awesome mags. Two books, both unwanted. Repped by (YOUR NAME HERE). Writing, reading, video games, no politics. Website below

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

If I reach just one person with this tweet...that will be a good summary of the average amount of people I reach with my tweets

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@TouletAlexis @SandyofCthulhu Wow the chin size variation in this family is outrageous

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@typofoto It's hip to be square, dum dum dum dum dum dum

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@sturgios "...some gob for his head"

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@SUFCRootsHall Student Politics FC are a decent side but we had them in the first 15, let's get back on that

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@GuidoFawkes "Tear cleanup on aisle 9!"

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@sturgios This is electric. Can't believe I haven't read this until now

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@SattyMootien1 Imagine if it did. Putin agrees to disarmament and shows off his new c-cups

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@CharlotteCGill "Are you able to imagine a flat, but a small one?"
"No I can't even conceive of that."
"Have we got the experience for you!"

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@FUDdaily She's a very successful headmistress, not Harry Potter. Seems very churlish to attack her for not curing all societal ills

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@nickdixon Bride of FRANKenstein

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@CharlotteCGill That hair is outrageous

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@Madz_Grant Sub-Paddington guff, bravo! 😂

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@OldRoberts953 Played by Willem Defoe

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@pcgamer Hey guys, if we all make a 2nm chip each at home, we'll be back in this thing!

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@spectator Fantastic bit of reporting

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@TheWickedJJ @CharlotteCGill I was personally McDonaldsanated at lunchtime and now I'm being oppressed by fatphobics

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@CharlotteCGill Billionaires out of fashion is a pretty wild category

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@Keir_Starmer Congratulations to the cast of Basic Instinct. I watched that interview bit with Sharon Stone many times, pausing it until the tape went all wonky.

Its success is a reminder that sometimes women don't wear knickers, but they also might be murderers, so stay vigilant, voyeurs!

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@pcgamer Good analysis, a tiny amount of unpredictability would be a big addition

[S📍mon 🅿inkerton @SimonPinkerton]

@CharlotteCGill AI or LinkedIn midwit?