Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green

✨ Freelance Artist and Illustrator
✨ 'We're never going to find the new unless we get a little crazy' - Radical Play ((forever an Unus)) *she/her/they*

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

No scope for the day? Noscope tomorrow. #InspirationalFanBoyTweets

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@UPS_UK please can you respond to me about my missing item? Thank you.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

New goal:
- Have one year without being singled out as 'the fat one'
OR
- Not care next time

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@RoxieRoseAnime Trying this immediately.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

Fallen down a black hole because the crushing reality that absolutely nothing is 100% what it seems is just too much.

I need certainty now and I can't even trust ingredients lists.

[ArtInInsanity @ArtInInsanity]

ARTISTS OF TWITTER!
May all your insta-reels be better than mine 😂

I'm doing my best!

https://t.co/YlEmOzuihi

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

Listening to a kid in the alley make excessive fart sounds and then blame his Dad because "It must have been a boy because it SMELLS and there are only 3 girls and 2 boys and it wasn't me so it must have been you, Dad" then ponder loudly whether his grandma is a boy.

Top comedy.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

Ah yes, the classic Frozen quote.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

Hahhhahahahahahahhahhahaaaahhahahaahhahahahhahwhaahah@hahahaahhahahhhaa+ahwhwhaa+@haahahhahahhhaa+ahahhh@ahhahahh@hhhahhhah@hhahaaa+a

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@squeakygrump I'm honoured 😂😂😂

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

When your dog destroys every toy so you gotta become Sid from Toy Story...

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

There is currently a massive cannibal slug in my yard.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@Persephiroth It hurts to know some people don't understand, don't want to understand and are unkind.

Know that you are loved, and you are deserving of love. ♥️

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

Kept hearing @MatPatGT talking about #Battington tapes...

Completely misheard him everytime...

Watching in horror like 'my guy where the fk is Paddington.'

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@SekiiRei My happy smiley pupper to brighten your day.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@squeakygrump That is understandably terrifying. I've always been scared of them because I didn't know if I was allergic and was worried one would sting me and I wouldn't be able to get help in time.

Turns out, not allergic, but christ does it hurt!

Bees are wonderful. 🐝 Excellent rescue!

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

28 years without ever having been stung by a wasp or a bee.

Then today some ninja wasp asshole decides to jab me in my leg through my leggings!

It hurts more than I thought it would.

Wasps can buzz off.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

If anyone happens to fall through to the backrooms and come across a squeaky tennis ball...

It's my dog's. Thank you.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

@normanlambert45 Heyyyy!
...
Yeah alright fair.

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

Is every hufflepuff the main character in an anime? 😂

#HogwartsMystery

[Simone 'Sassy Chicken' Green @SimoneSCG]

I just realised I used to have soy sauce in the house exclusively for pot noodles.

Now I actually cook with it.
I'm all grown up.

*wipes tear from eye*