Simone Fauxbien

I am definitely not Simone Beaubien.

[truj @AllisonTruj]

"In three months, these people will be wearing socks and sandals" --@Simone_Fauxbien at the Sour Beer Fest

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

Fuck your bullshit, I'm trying to poetate over here.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

Kill your darlings. Maim your sweethearts. Give your loved ones a thorough tax audit. #itstheonlyway

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

Everyone on this year's Cantab team is too cool to tweet regularly. @BodaddyCrawfish @sophillazilla @glassEyeballs @mrmack88 @thevanisher

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

This is an April Fools joke right here.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

Team?? Selection????? FINALS????????? WHY? Everybody knows I'm going to just fly to Oakland with 4 different costumes AND WIN

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

If scowling at people was an Olympic sport, @TaylorMali would have bought me a gold medal by now #whereismymedaltaylor

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

If there's one thing I know, it's that going to poetry readings doesn't mean you're not a fuckhead.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

Feminism is a lot of work and turns everyone off.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

"Harry Potter" is the worst gender.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

The MRA just made me spill my beer.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

I hope you all are looking forward to my debut Lauper-style album, "She's So Acerbic."

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

There is a common misunderstanding that I am often angry at other poets. I'm almost never angry at anyone but I am frequently disappointed.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

@MALTSCHLITZMANN No, it was offered as a compliment. But a compliment is just a reminder to UP YOUR GAME.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

I’m not insulted that you called my hosting style “militant feminist.” I’m disappointed that you think this is as militant as I get #6thgear

[cassandra de alba @cassandraintroy]

"they're still writing poems, that's how we know they're not having any sex." -- @Simone_Fauxbien

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

I fully expect #NPSShade to drag @thevanisher home in its teeth like a cat with an almost dead baby bunny.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

I've been throwing #NPSShade since 2001 guys.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

It's my understanding that @insafemode won the slam last week while I was away. Fine, Cantab. I'll never take another night off again.

[Simone Fauxbien @Simone_Fauxbien]

When the alphabetical draw system begins, I recommend not starting your team name with the letters Nu, De, or Sl.