Sparky

[Ms.Ifss♡ @_ifssss]

i used a man’s body wash this morning and i have already lied 6 times.

[JenX77X @JenX77X]

Literally nobody but Erika Kirk made me dislike and distrust Erika Kirk. Stop
Blaming anyone else. It’s literally her.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

The fact that you can’t check into a hotel until 4pm when the day is basically over but have to check out by 10am the next morning should honestly be illegal.

[Pharaoh👳🏾‍♂️👑 @MrMekzy_]

The older I get, the stayer I home.

[. @UnrulyStitch]

Fuck I’m a do with someone that got BPD besides ghost them??? Not dealing with all that lol

[Mr. Relatable @MrRelatable88]

STOP giving money to TPUSA. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[Vera🇺🇸AF @Veralitra]

If Erika Kirk is on the republican ticket in the 2028 general election I will vote democrat for the first time in my life and I won’t feel bad about it.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

The worst thing about Charlie Kirk dying is that I had to find out who Erika Kirk was.

[Love Music @khnh80044]

A man noticed a kid driving through his driveway for fun every day and instead of getting angry, he did this for the kid... 😊❤️
https://t.co/xpCefRCVaI

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

why tf does garlic have to wear so many little jackets

[Nithya Shri @Nithya_Shrii]

If we're ever in a situation where we're both doing math in our heads, I'm just pretending. It's all on you.

[Kristel 💙🧡 @kristelxo]

Being 43 is wild. People your age are living completely different lives.

Some are grandparents. Some are raising toddlers. Some are newly divorced. Some are newly engaged. Some haven’t slept in three years. Some are in St. Tropez posting Aperol spritzes from a yacht.

Some look 25.
Some look like they personally remember the invention of Tupperware.

Nobody got the same assignment.

[Clip Insanity @ClipInsanity]

This mother said she had no idea how their baby always opens his eyes knowing they came home until the man explained exactly how the baby knows 😂

[Nicky💕 @jas_d_barbie]

Twitter brand is so strong it was renamed and it’s still Twitter.

[Softboy @softboywin]

You’re supposed to clean your place before you leave for a trip. I don’t know who made that rule but that’s the rule.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Me: Hey, can you print this black and white document?

Printer: I am offline.

Me: No, you are not. Can you please just print this black and white document?

Printer: With my MAGENTA low??? Bro, you sound insane right now.

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

Amazon’s customer service strategy is basically
“here’s your refund, please don’t talk to us”

[cj- @cjnieI]

One thing about butterflies they do not fly in your house that’s a bug with class

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

We stopped saying "it’s Photoshop" and started saying "it’s AI"

End of an era. Photoshop, thanks for the memories .

[govt.exe is corrupt @govt_corrupt]

The only pandemic we’re facing is how retarded everyone is.