Simpsons Quotes

No bot tweets. Just a fanboy with a passion to quote The Simpsons.

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

I went to a wedding yesterday and this was what the officiant was wearing.

#TheSimpsons #Stonecutters #ItsaSecret

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Oh! I think we hit something.
- I hope it's Flanders.

#TheSimpsons #SkinnersSenseofSnow

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Slow down.
The sidewalks for regular walking not for fancy walking.

#TheSimpsons #WhoShotMrBurnsPartTwo

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Have the Rolling Stones killed.
- Oh, sir, those aren’t —
Do as I say!

#TheSimpsons #Rosebud

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Sir. Uh, hello, sir.
Yes. You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife...
Ow!

#TheSimpsons #GrampavsSexualInadequacy

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

#TheSimpsons #AStarIsBurns

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

♪ You don’t win friends with salad ♪
♪ You don’t win friends with salad ♪
♪ You don’t win friends with salad ♪

#TheSimpsons #LisatheVegetarian

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

♪ I am so smart! I am so smart! ♪
♪ I am so smart! I am so smart! ♪
♪ S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-R-T ♪

#TheSimpsons #HomerGoestoCollege

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Seymour, the house is on fire!
- No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.
- - Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow
but I must say, you steam a good ham.

#TheSimpsons #22ShortFilmsAboutSpringfield

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-2. We had to say ‘dickety,’ ‘cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty.’ I chased that rascal to get it back but gave up after dickety-six miles.

#TheSimpsons #RagingAbeSimpsonandHisGrumblingGrandsoninTheCurseoftheFlyingHellfish

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few “yes” or “no” questions and you just answer truthfully.
Do you understand?
- Yes.

#TheSimpsons #TheSpringfieldFiles

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

I sleep in a racing car. Do you?
- I sleep in a big bed with my wife.

#TheSimpsons #AMilhouseDivided

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

We’re talking about S-E-X
in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
- SEX CAULDRON?
- I thought they closed that place down.

#TheSimpsons #GradeSchoolConfidential

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

#TheSimpsons

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Hi. It’s me again. I got another problem.
Uh, this one’s about my cat.
(meowing)
Yeah! Shut up!! I’m asking her.

#TheSimpsons #InMargeWeTrust

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Tell me more. I want to know all the constellations.
- Well, there’s… Jerry the cowboy.
- And that Big Dipper-looking thing is Alan the cowboy.

#TheSimpsons #BrotherfromtheSamePlanet

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

This is even more painful than it looks.

#TheSimpsons #BrotherfromtheSamePlanet

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Homer, where did you get that?
- Get what?
That giant donut.
- Well, I acquired it legally, you can be sure of that.

#TheSimpsons #TreehouseofHorrorVI

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Uh-oh.
We’ve drawn Judge Snider.
- Is that bad?
Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
- You did?
Replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly” and the word “dog” with “son.”

#TheSimpsons #MargeinChains

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Hi, Lisa.
Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers.
(meow)
I’m learnding.

#TheSimpsons #LisaGetsanA

[Simpsons Quotes @SimpsonsGreats]

Wow. Classy.
- Good evening, sir.
- Would you please leave without a fuss right now?
Okay.

#TheSimpsons #FearofFlying