Steve Rogers ||Parody||

I'm not Captain America anymore. Everyone can go fuck themselves while I go worship @BoondockBaby’s tits and let @WinterOfSin shove his metal fist up my ass.

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

[Grinds up on @SinfulParagon's lap and sings loudly]

https://t.co/F2NrmJAGEa

[Grant Rogers @RogueFacsimile]

#IntroSolo #Awakening

The man awoke to chaos. The constant drone of the facility's alarms clashed with sporadic bursts of gunfire as the man struggled towards a conscious state.

This was unlike his previous awakenings. Those always involved several --

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

[Hisses out a breath, wrapping both arms around him] Sorry, we’re all outta hot fudge. I used the last of it on Peggy’s tits this morning.

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

[Wraps an arm around him and bites his shoulder] Got a lot of plans. Making sure you save that jar of hot fudge... Going to "fondue."

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

@BoondockBaby Might take me a while but that’s totally doable.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

Best. Welcome back present. Ever. [Grins, plopping down on his lap]

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

What can I say, I know how to treat a man... Peggy is bringing out the strap on tonight.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

Literally no one wants you.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

@BoondockBaby Who do I need to kill?

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

See this, folks? This is how you sweet talk a guy. I’m fuckin’ swooning over here.

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

I am gonna shove my cock so far down your throat...

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

[Totes her around and plans on doing unspeakable things to her]

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

Fuck off.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

[Awkwardly pets @FrigidInnocence’s face] Hey kiddo, you miss me?

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

[Grinds all up on @WinterOfSin and @UnionJackQueen]

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

[Kicks the door open like the fucking Kool Aid Man]

[Leers like a maniac]

Come to Daddy, little girl.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

Because I’m romantic as fuck, I’ll even spit on it to make it slide in easier.

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

I'm waiting for @SinfulParagon to pop a finger up my ass and call me his slut.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

My ass has never been so ready.

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

Prepare yourself, @SinfulParagon!

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

Don’t fucking RT that, you fucking cum guzzling gutter slut.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

[Grabs @WinterOfSin’s face and claims his lips in a hungry kiss, growling against them afterwards] If they ever take you away from me again, I’ll kill them all.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

@WinterOfSin Jesus Christ, Buck. I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

I call dibs on fucking your fat rolls.

[King Daddy Barnes - ||Parody|| @WinterOfSin]

Still stand by this.

[Steve Rogers ||Parody|| @SinfulParagon]

@WinterOfSin You fuckin' know it.