Alex ndeto

[Nyaburi 🐝 @Nyaburinyauma]

A guy I know spent $1,800 on a Samsung TV and genuinely thought he had the perfect picture. For THREE YEARS, he watched everything on it. Netflix at night. Football on weekends. Movies with his family. YouTube when he couldn't sleep. He never complained once. Then one day, a friend of his came over. She works professionally with home theater setups, so she casually looked at the TV and asked: “Wait… what picture mode are you using?” He checked. Vivid. She just stared at him. 😂 Then she said:

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

The second most asked question yesterday came from cargo consolidators.

They asked,

What if I consolidate goods for 10 Kenyan importers, and each importer buys from 10 different suppliers in China.

In other words, 100 Chinese suppliers deliver goods to my warehouse in China.

How many KRA ACD reference codes are needed?

The answer is: 100 unique reference codes.

Why?

Because the ACD reference is generated per shipment from each exporter.

Each of the 100 Chinese suppliers must log into KRA's ACD portal and obtain an ACD reference code for the goods they are exporting to Kenya.

As the consolidator, your job is to ensure that every supplier delivering goods to your warehouse has obtained a VALID ACD reference code before the cargo is consolidated.

This has added an extra responsibility for you to verify that every ACD reference code is valid. Visit https://t.co/Qes7uwmPAj

So one container does not mean one ACD code.

100 suppliers. 100 shipments. 100 unique ACD reference codes.

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

Hii German machine is not for the faint hearted unaamka unapata quotation ya bei ya shamba,so doleful!

[Shoba Gatimu @shobanes]

Strip chat? Kuna ingine inaitwa X hamster alafu kwa live tab. Alafu 'Kenyan.' Na unaeza sort na preference. Petite, squirt, thick etc. You can also tip anonymously using Mpesa top up. Including private shows. Na bei ni sooooft....
Allegedly. From DM. Hide ID.

[Mary Njoroge @Maryian96]

Ooooh my lord is this hit and run or somebody has been assassinated?? JESUS this happened outside Olesereni...today.

[Alex ndeto @Sirlex6]

@betikaKe when are we going to get our deposits.?

[Football Tweet ⚽ @Footballtweet]

➟ 2022: Cesc Fàbregas signs as a new player for Como.

➟ 2023: Cesc Fàbregas becomes captain of Como.

➟ 2024: Becomes assistant coach of Como's first team.

➟ 2024: Reaches Serie A after 21 years away from the club.

➟ 2025: Ends his first season with Como as head coach in Serie A by saving the club from relegation.

➟ 2026: Has Como in fourth place in Serie A, with a chance to play in the Champions League. And is in the semi-finals of the Coppa Italia.

➟ Retired as a player for Como, became a shareholder, and is leading the club to glory as a coach.

RESPECT TO CESC FÀBREGAS. 🧠👔

[Asanwa @Chizitere_xyz]

We women live a terrifying double life. A mother will look at her teenage son with absolute, boundless empathy. She will hold him when he cries, tell him his feelings matter, and pray to God that he finds a woman who loves him for his pure heart, not his wallet.

But that exact same woman will turn around and look at her husband, who is literally someone else’s grown son and treat him like a malfunctioning piece of farm equipment if he loses his job or shows a moment of emotional fragility. We completely compartmentalize the fact that the men we drain, stress out, and demand traditional protection from were once little boys who were promised that their hearts mattered.
​
Look at the advice mothers pass down. It is pure, unfiltered hypocrisy.
We sit our daughters down and say: "Never settle. Make sure he is a provider. If he is struggling financially, do not build him up, leave him. You deserve a King." But if a mother catches wind that her son's girlfriend is treating him that way? If her son loses his job and his girlfriend packs her bags? That mother will lose her mind. She will call the girlfriend a gold-digger. She will call her toxic.
We are actively raising our daughters to become the exact type of women we pray our sons never meet.

[Kingpin of Kenya @ClintonObonyo]

Hii Kenya nikama hakuna mtu normal
Huku Makueni Huyu Askari alipanda Bangi Kwa police post, Mahali anaishi, sasa rafiki yake akampeana kwa mkubwa kujaribu kushikwa,he uprooted the plant ,wrapped it in a piece of cloth and disappeared, Efforts to arrest him failed,Aliingia Msituni Na kutoroka kama Swara.

Lakini huyu Askari anapumua Kama tractor is unfit for the job

[Ignatius @ignyharaz2]

Edenville Kiambu Road
A great leafy gated community off Kiambu Road, Kiambu County that was launched in phases.

Phase 1 had 345 villas and all are sold out btw and Phase 2 has 404 maisonettes.

This was Developed by Paramount Chief Estate Ltd, with Phase 2 construction cost of approximately KES 2 billion.

Some units are selling from about KES 16.9 M to ksh. 25 M+ depending on size.

Location; Minutes from Muthaiga Roundabout, close to Nairobi with 24/7 security & gardens.

You choose between either renting to own or building your own , maybe or just to survive.

Good deal in hands.

[DailyAFC @DailyAFC]

The Arsenal squad reacting to Aston Villa’s last minute winner yesterday… 💔🤬

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

This is a classic example of how hypergamy works. And your woman will pretend she hates kibe & you will believe her,, mumuu!! I experienced this first hand over the weekend with a friend who owns a GLE. We met yellow yellow damsels at the parking lot of a certain mall along Thika rd.

My guy went straight to the point on what his intentions were- to measure their diameters & booooom,,,, daughters of Agrippina were there at the backseat beating for us stories like we've known each other for years.

My guy dropped me at my hacienda without my consent ending up enjoying the sacred fruits of fulumbanya all by himself. You see that greed that they talk about in the bible, that right there is what my boy illustrated.

Ayaaam telling you Omwami, poverty is bad bad bad, utaishi kugongewa. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.

[Manchester United Forever @UtdForever7]

🚨DID YOU KNOW:

◾Olympique de Marseille hadn't been Ligue 1 Champions for 16 years. Eric Cantona came and won it in his first season. ✅

◾Leeds United didn't win Premier League for 18 years. Eric Cantona came and won it. ✅

◾Manchester United hadn't won the EPL title for 26 years. Bought Eric Cantona and won 4 Premier League titles in 5 years. ✅

Underrated legend of the game, Eric Cantona! 🙌🇫🇷 #MUFC

[Wall Street Apes @WallStreetApes]

This man worked at Krispy Kreme

He shows Walmart has a partnership and a stand that says the donuts are delivered fresh daily

He pulls one off the shelf and shows you where to look at a date. The donuts are from 1/1/25

9 months old and still being sold and they look perfect at the time of filming

[Dex @DexxterUtd]

Bro, Manchester United was practically unplayable in 1999/2000. Most people don't even know that the 8-2 we gave Arsenal wasn't the even first time we humiliated them. Just watch what Sir Alex did to one of the greatest Arsenal sides in history.

[OLAMIDE 🌸💖 @Olamide0fficial]

This man was falsely accvsed of thẽft after the woman claimed he stǒle her bag. When the police arrived & found the man’s ID and belongings in the bag, the woman said it was a mistake that she’s sorry 🥴

[Willy Abuga @WillyAbuga]

I often leave home at 9am & come back at 7pm, today I came early & sat on the grass; prior to moving here, I used to live on the 10th floor of an apartment that was a 10km drive to CBD vs now which is 30km away BUT, I love it here.
Bad financial decision but good for the soul 🥹

[Queku Mainoo @UTDQueku_]

We’d never forget how this guy treated the club and the fans who made him like sh!t. We’ll remind his fans every single day.😭

[Lea @Lea_EFC]

Injury time added & played when Liverpool wasn’t winning after 90 minutes:

✅ Newcastle
⏰ 11 Added
⏰ 12 Played

✅ Burnley
⏰ 5 Added
⏰ 7 Played

✅ Crystal Palace
⏰ 6 Added
⏰ 10 Played

✅ Chelsea
⏰ 7 Added
⏰ 9 Played

✅ Man Utd
⏰ 8 Added
⏰ 8 Played

✅ Brentford
⏰ 7 Added
⏰ 12 Played

❌ Everton (LFC Winning after 90 mins)
⏰ 3 Added 😂😂😂
⏰ 4 Played 😂😂😂

PGMOL 🤝 LFC

[Shoba Gatimu @shobanes]

Kenyatta had no vehicle. So he depended largely on getting a lift from Fitz de Souza from Gatundu to Nairobi. Then Ronald Ngala gave him a Vanguard, Dr. Njoroge Mungai a Benz, The Brits gave him a Land rover and the Americans a Plymouth convertible. When Fitz asked Jomo to donate one vehicle to KANU to assist with party affairs and help other party officials get around since most didn't have vehicles, Kenyatta vehemently refused and said, "These cars have been given to me and I think I must keep them. After all, Africans only respect a man with a lot of mali. You have to have a lot of cows, houses, hangers-on, then they will think, ' Ah. He is a great leader.' Otherwise they will think he is useless."

This greed loot and plunder our politicians do was a philosophy of Jomo.