Lauren Salas

/me a sirry goil.

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

@GramGoblin Opossums are just furry goblins, right?

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[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

Hey @mcdonalds, why was I denied a thank you meal for HEALTHCARE WORKERS this morning for not being a doctor or nurse, when I was literally on my way to my shift AT THE HOSPITAL. Lab techs are the ones running the COVID testing right now, but we don't deserve a meal? Absurd.

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

Slowpoke.jpg will only become more and more appropriate as .jpgs become more and more dated. #justshowerthoughts

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

@Airbnb Why is your site broken?

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

@Baxterdelarocha I want Evanescence tickets plz

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

@UNM I listened to a lot of Hamilton while finishing up my BS in Med Lab Sciences. #UNMCapOff

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

I like days when I can tell my intrusive thoughts to suck my dick. They're rare days, but I'm glad they exist.

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

It's comforting to know that my gram stain game is still on point, because the stainer breaks like every other day. #rotations #microbiology

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

I look forward to ruining many appetites in the future with my numerous comparisons of patient samples to food. #rotations #microbiology

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

I ruined my trainer's appetite for Cinnabons by comparing them to a gooey sputum sample. #rotations #microbiology

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

I got to watch someone aliquot a FULL LITER of peritoneal fluid. It looked like apple cider. #rotations #microbiology

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

First day of #rotations: 7 hrs studying SOPs, then 1 hr watching someone process body fluids. Latter 100% made up for former. #microbiology

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

I haven't had this much trouble streaming a video since "[S]: Cascade" broke Newgrounds. #RickandMorty

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

So the bathroom fan didn't break because a bird got stuck in it. It stopped working because TWO birds got stuck in it. #ripbirbs

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

Considered live-tweeting my reactions to Twin Peaks, but 90% of it would be "WHY AREN'T THESE MEN WEARING GLOVES?"

[AltEPA @ActualEPAFacts]

I think @AlecBaldwin needs an "AltTrump" account.

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

@realDonaldTrunp Eat shit. #EatShitEveryday #EatShitTrump

[Lauren Salas @SirryGoil]

@realDonaldTrump Eat shit. #EatShitTrump #EatShitEveryday